We've been pretty busy the last few weeks, we went down to Arizona, and when we got back Dan has been working nonstop almost for 2 weeks, so that's why we're posting all of these at once.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Week 35
We've been pretty busy the last few weeks, we went down to Arizona, and when we got back Dan has been working nonstop almost for 2 weeks, so that's why we're posting all of these at once.
Friday, June 29, 2012
I'll pay you $5
Sometimes Mason makes noises like a Dolphin. It's hilarious. Like, so hilarious that if he wakes up at 2:32 am with a high pitched squeek, Dan and I actually wake up and laugh. Very few things are funny at that time of the morning. I also laugh when I tell Dan, "I will pay you $5 of your own money to go feed our Dolphin...and I will even provide the food." The other night I actually upped the payment to $10...I was THAT tired. He said, "make it 20." Being the nice wife that I am, I said "I'll do $25." He totally took it. Sucker.
Remember when he was this small?! presh
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Postpartum is retardum
I feel like people were withholding information from me about this whole pregnancy, labor, delivery, postpartum stuff. I'm hear to clear this all up once and for all. Lets put it all out on the table. (really I'm just writing this to remind myself what it was like before I get myself into it again.)
Pregnancy: I look back on pregnancy (which consisted of Burger King food poisoning, 3 months of bronchitis, 1 ER visit with C-Diff, round ligament pain, and pelvic pain so bad that I cried) and think, "that was the easy part and I didn't even realize it!"
Labor and delivery: It's only as dramatic as you make it. If you want to be all crazy and hyperventilate and blame everything on your "terrible" nurse, go for it. If you don't, don't. It really is that simple. Sure, there are the occasional crazy complications, but for the most part everything is pretty routine from woman to woman.
Nursing: Painful and frustrating. If someone tells you "it shouldn't be painful" please give me their name and I will hunt them down and smack them....right across the face. Yes it is and yes it should be! That is very sensitive skin friends and it needs to build up a callus before it stops hurting. For about 2 weeks it's very painful. Like toe curling, tears, blood, clenched teeth kind of painful. Now for the frustrating part. Babies don't know what they're doing and neither do you. It's the blind leading the blind. Babies also tend to do this really cute thing where they latch on correctly and suck well for the lactation specialist at the hospital. Then you go home and, yaaay, baby can't latch on or suck or stay awake long enough to do either. Now lets talk about pumping and bottle feeding in one big long run on sentence. When both you and baby are sitting on the couch in tears because he hasn't eaten in oh, say, 9+ hours because your milk supply is almost as low as the milk in the fridge because you haven't been able to grocery shop in weeks because all you do is try to nurse and and all he does is not eat and all you want to do is give him the bottle so you know that he's actually getting enough (breathe), think again. Not happening. He hates the bottle. the bottle hates him. and you hate life. Don't say I didn't warn you. It take about 3 months to fully get feeding under control. So on week 1 when you're crying to your husband about nursing, just remember, only 83 more days and your baby will be eating like a champ.
Postpartum in general: You are not yourself. I'm not usually a crier. I cried. Every day. Several times a day. By the 5th day of crying it usually comes to a head and you bawl and sob and get it all out and say weird things to your husband...then it all starts over again. Secondly, life has changed more than you ever imagined. Remember when going to the store used to be a crappy chore? Now it's a freaking vacation. I remember the first time I went to Walmart by myself after having Mason...I was a new woman when I came home! I was so refreshed and renewed...ready to take on our new life like I had been at the beach for 5 days! I sit here 5 months (to the day) later and wonder what in the world happened those first couple of months. Everything was so....different. It was like I had to find myself all over again. I had to keep telling myself "I'm Julie Fisher, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend....and a mommy?!" Saying the words "I am a parent" literally made me laugh. I kept feeling like I was just babysitting this precious baby, and that someone was going to come pick him up at the end of the day. Week by week it got a little easier, but it took me a good 3 months before I comfortably wore the hat of 'mommy'. I felt like my old life had slipped through my fingers in an instant, but I was trying to hang on to it. Little did I know I was grasping at air. The best advice and encouragement I got was from my mom. She told me that I was mourning my past in a way. I was mourning losing what I knew for 27 years. I was mourning my selfishness...and I loved my selfishness a lot. It wasn't that the "new" me and the "new" life wasn't what I wanted, it was that I didn't know how to embrace it (I have a hard time letting go...obviously). I knew what she was saying was true. I remember going through this same type of cycle when I got married. I specifically remember driving home from work one night, and a car load of teenagers pulled up next to me. They were laughing, singing, dancing, and having a good time. I cried because I knew that was no longer me, yet I could still identify with them. I could see myself sitting in their car being all crazy...but in reality I was sitting in my car driving home to the next chapter of my life (which I loved). The life of responsibility, and a husband.Nine years later I found myself in the same situation but different circumstance. On one hand I was sad that our old life was no longer what it was, but on the other hand I loved this new life and this new baby that we had prayed and hoped for, for so many years. And then my mom said these magic words that calmed my innards- "...And it's ok to mourn that. Let yourself FEEL that. Let yourself feel sorry, let yourself feel sad, let yourself cry...then move on and let it all go." And that is exactly what I did. I cried. I reminisced. I thought back to all the extraordinary moments. I felt sad to leave my selfishness behind. I felt sad that our marriage of 9 years would never be the same. I missed doing what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. I felt every bit of it. Then I went into the bathroom, washed my face, and let it all go. And that is where my post partum baby blues ended. It's interesting to think that when we have another baby, I will most likely go through this mourning cycle again. I will miss the days that I only had one baby. The days where I got to take naps with him. The days when I thought 1 kid was overwhelming. The days that I got to hold him and cuddle him without interruption. In the end I am certain that our "new" life will always be even better than the one we let go.
Pregnancy: I look back on pregnancy (which consisted of Burger King food poisoning, 3 months of bronchitis, 1 ER visit with C-Diff, round ligament pain, and pelvic pain so bad that I cried) and think, "that was the easy part and I didn't even realize it!"
Labor and delivery: It's only as dramatic as you make it. If you want to be all crazy and hyperventilate and blame everything on your "terrible" nurse, go for it. If you don't, don't. It really is that simple. Sure, there are the occasional crazy complications, but for the most part everything is pretty routine from woman to woman.
Nursing: Painful and frustrating. If someone tells you "it shouldn't be painful" please give me their name and I will hunt them down and smack them....right across the face. Yes it is and yes it should be! That is very sensitive skin friends and it needs to build up a callus before it stops hurting. For about 2 weeks it's very painful. Like toe curling, tears, blood, clenched teeth kind of painful. Now for the frustrating part. Babies don't know what they're doing and neither do you. It's the blind leading the blind. Babies also tend to do this really cute thing where they latch on correctly and suck well for the lactation specialist at the hospital. Then you go home and, yaaay, baby can't latch on or suck or stay awake long enough to do either. Now lets talk about pumping and bottle feeding in one big long run on sentence. When both you and baby are sitting on the couch in tears because he hasn't eaten in oh, say, 9+ hours because your milk supply is almost as low as the milk in the fridge because you haven't been able to grocery shop in weeks because all you do is try to nurse and and all he does is not eat and all you want to do is give him the bottle so you know that he's actually getting enough (breathe), think again. Not happening. He hates the bottle. the bottle hates him. and you hate life. Don't say I didn't warn you. It take about 3 months to fully get feeding under control. So on week 1 when you're crying to your husband about nursing, just remember, only 83 more days and your baby will be eating like a champ.
Postpartum in general: You are not yourself. I'm not usually a crier. I cried. Every day. Several times a day. By the 5th day of crying it usually comes to a head and you bawl and sob and get it all out and say weird things to your husband...then it all starts over again. Secondly, life has changed more than you ever imagined. Remember when going to the store used to be a crappy chore? Now it's a freaking vacation. I remember the first time I went to Walmart by myself after having Mason...I was a new woman when I came home! I was so refreshed and renewed...ready to take on our new life like I had been at the beach for 5 days! I sit here 5 months (to the day) later and wonder what in the world happened those first couple of months. Everything was so....different. It was like I had to find myself all over again. I had to keep telling myself "I'm Julie Fisher, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend....and a mommy?!" Saying the words "I am a parent" literally made me laugh. I kept feeling like I was just babysitting this precious baby, and that someone was going to come pick him up at the end of the day. Week by week it got a little easier, but it took me a good 3 months before I comfortably wore the hat of 'mommy'. I felt like my old life had slipped through my fingers in an instant, but I was trying to hang on to it. Little did I know I was grasping at air. The best advice and encouragement I got was from my mom. She told me that I was mourning my past in a way. I was mourning losing what I knew for 27 years. I was mourning my selfishness...and I loved my selfishness a lot. It wasn't that the "new" me and the "new" life wasn't what I wanted, it was that I didn't know how to embrace it (I have a hard time letting go...obviously). I knew what she was saying was true. I remember going through this same type of cycle when I got married. I specifically remember driving home from work one night, and a car load of teenagers pulled up next to me. They were laughing, singing, dancing, and having a good time. I cried because I knew that was no longer me, yet I could still identify with them. I could see myself sitting in their car being all crazy...but in reality I was sitting in my car driving home to the next chapter of my life (which I loved). The life of responsibility, and a husband.Nine years later I found myself in the same situation but different circumstance. On one hand I was sad that our old life was no longer what it was, but on the other hand I loved this new life and this new baby that we had prayed and hoped for, for so many years. And then my mom said these magic words that calmed my innards- "...And it's ok to mourn that. Let yourself FEEL that. Let yourself feel sorry, let yourself feel sad, let yourself cry...then move on and let it all go." And that is exactly what I did. I cried. I reminisced. I thought back to all the extraordinary moments. I felt sad to leave my selfishness behind. I felt sad that our marriage of 9 years would never be the same. I missed doing what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. I felt every bit of it. Then I went into the bathroom, washed my face, and let it all go. And that is where my post partum baby blues ended. It's interesting to think that when we have another baby, I will most likely go through this mourning cycle again. I will miss the days that I only had one baby. The days where I got to take naps with him. The days when I thought 1 kid was overwhelming. The days that I got to hold him and cuddle him without interruption. In the end I am certain that our "new" life will always be even better than the one we let go.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
My Favorite Baby Stuff
Before I had Mason I did extensive research on baby items. I was crazaaaay about it, but I didn't care, because these things are expensive and if you buy everything on the market, you will be broke in no time! I loved reading other mom's ideas and opinions...so here are some of the things that I love most...besides my precious baby!
Swaddle me: I use the Summer infant swaddle me. For winter time I used the mirco fleece. It is a light fleece that doesn't seem to be too hot for cold nights. For spring -through Fall I'll use the cotton swaddle (I put a light blanket on him during the spring and fall nights that are a little cooler). The cotton is quite thin and seems to run larger than the mircofleece because it is stretchy. I started using a large cotton swaddle when he was 11 lbs. It's a little big but still works. By 10 lbs the fleece was getting snug.
J.J. Cole Bundle me: This is so good for the winter time. No blanket needed! It's nice and cozy. Cons: the back of it where the baby's head goes is bumpy because it has holes for adjusting the straps. We had to put a head support in it to cover up the holes and make it more comfortable. Also, I found Mason getting hot in it pretty easily. If it's even somewhat warm outside, the Bundle Me is too hot. I took it out of his carseat when it got to be around 60 degrees outside and started using a light blanket.
Pampers Swaddlers or Huggies Little Snugglers: Not only are there different brands of diapers, but there are different grades of diapers within each brand. Who knew?! I thought huggies were huggies and pampers were pampers. They're not. Swaddlers and Snugglers are by far the softest. There is a definite difference in the quality of a Huggies Snuggler and a Huggies Snug and Dry. Dan likes that there is a yellow line going down the middle that turns green to tell you if the diaper is wet. The Huggies seem to run smaller than the Pampers in our experience. Cons: They're more expensive (worth it though) There are lots of coupons out there for Huggies if you look for them. Pampers coupons are harder to come by.
Medela pump: I've done enough research on these to realize that it IS ok to buy a used pump. (I've only researched the Medela's) At first I thought it was completely gross and unsanitary. Here's the thing: anything that touches skin or milk can be thrown away and replaced for a lot cheaper than buying a new pump. You can even pop off the face of the pump and make sure that no milk has leaked down into it.The pump itself is basically just a small air compressor. No milk goes down into the pump. Cons: expensive, even used.
#Bright Starts Comfort and Harmony Bouncer: I spent weeks researching bouncers. I did not want a bouncer that didn't bounce well, or that sat up too straight. I also wanted the seat to be adjustable. Bright Starts isn't a high end brand by any means, but this bouncer is perfect. The only thing I don't like about it is the toy bar is really close to the baby's face-but in my research I found that almost every bouncer has that problem. The seat on this goes in two positions: laying back, or sitting up. The sitting up position isn't so straight up that it makes Mason's neck scrunched. It's perfect.
Pampers Sensitive Wipes: These work really well with the wipe warmers.They are thin and seem more moist than the thick wipes. I found that the thicker wipes dried out in the wipe warmers which then caused diaper rash because it was so rough on his little bum. (the thick ones alone-not warmed-work fine).
Sleepers that zip instead of button: I can barely figure out how to button these correctly when I'm wide awake much less at 2am! Zip and you're done.
Safety Q-tips: I never have to worry about sticking it in his ear too far. These are pretty much only good for the ears. I use regular q-tips to clean around his belly button and for getting boogies out of his nose.
Jersey knit blankets: They have a little bit of stretch too them. When I swaddle him in them I don't feel like I'm making him claustrophobic because he can move a little bit with the stretchy-ness. They're also the right thickness. Not too hot, not too cold.
Boppy pillow: Awesome for nursing. This really helped me get the hang of nursing and helped him latch on better. He also loves to lay in it and look at the ceiling fan =)
Socks that look like shoes: These were just fun to put on and a lot less bulky than actual shoes.
Carseat cover: Such a great invention! Sheilds them from the rain, the wind, and the sun. Love it
Diaper bag that converts into backpack: This is what I have and I love it. We have two flights of stairs to hike up and it's so nice to throw this on my back so I can carry groceries and everything else I drag out of the house on a daily basis (seriously, why do kids have to much stuff?!)
Mirror for car: These are really nice to have if you can find one that woks. We went through a couple before we found one that works well enough. The ones that stick to your window did not work for us, but I wish they did because they are a lot less bulky. There have been many times where I have looked in the mirror and noticed Mason wasn't holding his head up, so I'm glad I have one!
Bath seat: This is the one I use. It's a Summer infant large bath seat. It's so much nicer that trying to hold up a wet baby in the sink or the tub. One bad part about it is that you have to fill up your tub quite a bit to get the water to the right level. It's worth it to me though. He has fit in it since he got his first bath at a week old.
Snuza breathing monitor: I will admit this is a pricey product (especially when you see how small it is). With that said, this has been the #1 thing I have been so thankful to have. Especially those first few weeks when any amount of sleep you get is so precious. I never had to stay up worrying if he was breathing. All I have to do is fold the top of the diaper down and push the snuza onto it. We have only had one false alarm because it fell off (which will give you a freaking heart attack!) and it was totally our fault for not putting it on right. Best gift I got!
Thermometer: This might not be as important to some people as it is to me. We live in a condo with vaulted ceilings and two floors. His nursery is upstairs and it is hot up there. I worried about the temperature in his room since before he was born because I know that being over heated has been related to SIDS. So when I got this from my friend, I was so thankful for it. We rely on this all the time to make sure it's not too hot or too cold for him.
Mesh bag for socks: I know this isn't a regular baby item, but it is such an awesome idea that my friend taught me. Put the baby's socks in here, then throw them in the washer. Now you don't have to go to work and find one of the baby's socks stuck to the inner thigh of your pants, yay!
Swaddle me: I use the Summer infant swaddle me. For winter time I used the mirco fleece. It is a light fleece that doesn't seem to be too hot for cold nights. For spring -through Fall I'll use the cotton swaddle (I put a light blanket on him during the spring and fall nights that are a little cooler). The cotton is quite thin and seems to run larger than the mircofleece because it is stretchy. I started using a large cotton swaddle when he was 11 lbs. It's a little big but still works. By 10 lbs the fleece was getting snug.
J.J. Cole Bundle me: This is so good for the winter time. No blanket needed! It's nice and cozy. Cons: the back of it where the baby's head goes is bumpy because it has holes for adjusting the straps. We had to put a head support in it to cover up the holes and make it more comfortable. Also, I found Mason getting hot in it pretty easily. If it's even somewhat warm outside, the Bundle Me is too hot. I took it out of his carseat when it got to be around 60 degrees outside and started using a light blanket.
Pampers Swaddlers or Huggies Little Snugglers: Not only are there different brands of diapers, but there are different grades of diapers within each brand. Who knew?! I thought huggies were huggies and pampers were pampers. They're not. Swaddlers and Snugglers are by far the softest. There is a definite difference in the quality of a Huggies Snuggler and a Huggies Snug and Dry. Dan likes that there is a yellow line going down the middle that turns green to tell you if the diaper is wet. The Huggies seem to run smaller than the Pampers in our experience. Cons: They're more expensive (worth it though) There are lots of coupons out there for Huggies if you look for them. Pampers coupons are harder to come by.
Medela pump: I've done enough research on these to realize that it IS ok to buy a used pump. (I've only researched the Medela's) At first I thought it was completely gross and unsanitary. Here's the thing: anything that touches skin or milk can be thrown away and replaced for a lot cheaper than buying a new pump. You can even pop off the face of the pump and make sure that no milk has leaked down into it.The pump itself is basically just a small air compressor. No milk goes down into the pump. Cons: expensive, even used.
Sleepers that zip instead of button: I can barely figure out how to button these correctly when I'm wide awake much less at 2am! Zip and you're done.
Safety Q-tips: I never have to worry about sticking it in his ear too far. These are pretty much only good for the ears. I use regular q-tips to clean around his belly button and for getting boogies out of his nose.
Jersey knit blankets: They have a little bit of stretch too them. When I swaddle him in them I don't feel like I'm making him claustrophobic because he can move a little bit with the stretchy-ness. They're also the right thickness. Not too hot, not too cold.
Boppy pillow: Awesome for nursing. This really helped me get the hang of nursing and helped him latch on better. He also loves to lay in it and look at the ceiling fan =)
Socks that look like shoes: These were just fun to put on and a lot less bulky than actual shoes.
Carseat cover: Such a great invention! Sheilds them from the rain, the wind, and the sun. Love it
Diaper bag that converts into backpack: This is what I have and I love it. We have two flights of stairs to hike up and it's so nice to throw this on my back so I can carry groceries and everything else I drag out of the house on a daily basis (seriously, why do kids have to much stuff?!)
Mirror for car: These are really nice to have if you can find one that woks. We went through a couple before we found one that works well enough. The ones that stick to your window did not work for us, but I wish they did because they are a lot less bulky. There have been many times where I have looked in the mirror and noticed Mason wasn't holding his head up, so I'm glad I have one!
Bath seat: This is the one I use. It's a Summer infant large bath seat. It's so much nicer that trying to hold up a wet baby in the sink or the tub. One bad part about it is that you have to fill up your tub quite a bit to get the water to the right level. It's worth it to me though. He has fit in it since he got his first bath at a week old.
Snuza breathing monitor: I will admit this is a pricey product (especially when you see how small it is). With that said, this has been the #1 thing I have been so thankful to have. Especially those first few weeks when any amount of sleep you get is so precious. I never had to stay up worrying if he was breathing. All I have to do is fold the top of the diaper down and push the snuza onto it. We have only had one false alarm because it fell off (which will give you a freaking heart attack!) and it was totally our fault for not putting it on right. Best gift I got!
Thermometer: This might not be as important to some people as it is to me. We live in a condo with vaulted ceilings and two floors. His nursery is upstairs and it is hot up there. I worried about the temperature in his room since before he was born because I know that being over heated has been related to SIDS. So when I got this from my friend, I was so thankful for it. We rely on this all the time to make sure it's not too hot or too cold for him.
Mesh bag for socks: I know this isn't a regular baby item, but it is such an awesome idea that my friend taught me. Put the baby's socks in here, then throw them in the washer. Now you don't have to go to work and find one of the baby's socks stuck to the inner thigh of your pants, yay!
Monday, May 14, 2012
My first real Mother's Day!
My first Mother's day was a success! Dan made it so special. It started the night before with fancy cupcakes from Ye Olde Cupcake Shoppe. Yum! Chocolate mint and Rocky Road were my favorites.
The next morning he made me breakfast burritos. Sausage and eggs smothered in 5lbs of cheese with a nice warm tortilla. Hit the spot.
Then he had a picture of Mason blown up to an 8X10 with a sign that said "Happy First Mother's Day Mommy!" Adorable I tell you. He also made me a cute card and had it printed with pictures of Mason and us on it.
Then he made me a smilebox that had our story with pictures. Here's how the story went in his words:
Once upon a time a handsome genius took a beautiful princess to a castle far far away.
For 9 years it was just the two of them.
Then one day they had a perfect baby boy named Mason.
And he rocked their friggin' world!
And they lived happily ever after.
Happy Mother's Day.
That sums up the last 9 years of our life right there!
Dan also let me take a nap (my one request when he asked what I wanted!), and also did laundry and dishes.
But the best gift of all cannot be seen, it can only be felt. What is it? An unclogged milk duct. Hallelujah!
I feel so blessed to be a mommy and a wife. THIS is what life is all about. This is what I prayed for and hoped for all my life and I am so happy to have it all.
The next morning he made me breakfast burritos. Sausage and eggs smothered in 5lbs of cheese with a nice warm tortilla. Hit the spot.
Then he had a picture of Mason blown up to an 8X10 with a sign that said "Happy First Mother's Day Mommy!" Adorable I tell you. He also made me a cute card and had it printed with pictures of Mason and us on it.
Then he made me a smilebox that had our story with pictures. Here's how the story went in his words:
Once upon a time a handsome genius took a beautiful princess to a castle far far away.
For 9 years it was just the two of them.
Then one day they had a perfect baby boy named Mason.
And he rocked their friggin' world!
And they lived happily ever after.
Happy Mother's Day.
That sums up the last 9 years of our life right there!
Dan also let me take a nap (my one request when he asked what I wanted!), and also did laundry and dishes.
But the best gift of all cannot be seen, it can only be felt. What is it? An unclogged milk duct. Hallelujah!
I feel so blessed to be a mommy and a wife. THIS is what life is all about. This is what I prayed for and hoped for all my life and I am so happy to have it all.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Why I love/hate the pediatrician and hate/hate my neighbor
So I never thought I would be the crazy/stressed first time mom. (I laughed as I typed that). I guess I thought I'd all of the sudden turn into this cool, calm, not stressed mother of the year.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crazy first time mom, that's who.
Mason's pediatrician confirmed this to me when she called me neurotic AND crazy all in one visit.
Me: He goes through these periods every few weeks where he doesn't eat for like 8 or 9 hours every day for like 4 days straight. The last time he did this he lost 4 ounces over a week.
Her: How do you know he lost 4 ounces.
Me: Uh, I weigh him.
Her: You weigh him?? Ok, that's a little neurotic don't you think?
Me: Um.
Her: (looking at Dan) She's crazy isn't she?! (looking at me) You're crazy!
Me: laughing, trying to pretend like my son not eating is a hilarious joke.
Dan: Yes!
And that was the end of it.
I accept those words. I embrace my crazy side. But I'm still wondering why my child doesn't like to eat?? I guess we'll never know. Calm mom's don't need to know. And I'm a calm mom....these knots in my back and shoulders prove that I am. Right? (seriously, if Dan says "Goose-fra-braaaa" Name that movie to me ONE more time I might show him what crazy really is!)
In the end, I realized that maybe I need to calm down and I'm glad that his pediatrician is real with us. Sometimes crazies just need to be called crazy by the right person before they realize they're 42 seconds away from being admitted to looney bin.
P.S. the lactation consultant also gently hinted at the fact that I'm cookoo as well when I told her I had to taste the breast milk because it smelled rotten. I'm getting used to the label now. Just so you know, we have been force feeding our child rotten breast milk from the freezer, so my taste test was not for not. I cry just thinking about this, so maybe in a later post it will be explained. I'm working on being calm, this subject does not make me calm. In fact, my eye just twitched.
Lets move on to why my neighbor is even crazier than I am.
She called me a grandma the other day.
I honestly wish I could have taken a picture of my face at this point. WTF is what my face had written all over it. I was walking down the stairs as she was walking into her house
Her: "aww you have your grandson with you today?"
Me: Just thinking maybe she slipped and said grandson instead of son "um.uh. yep"
Her: "aren't grand kids the best?"
I don't know moron, ask me in 40 years!
Don't ever question why I try to stay locked in my house for as many hours as possible every day
Knock knock. Who's there? Crazy first time mom, that's who.
Mason's pediatrician confirmed this to me when she called me neurotic AND crazy all in one visit.
Me: He goes through these periods every few weeks where he doesn't eat for like 8 or 9 hours every day for like 4 days straight. The last time he did this he lost 4 ounces over a week.
Her: How do you know he lost 4 ounces.
Me: Uh, I weigh him.
Her: You weigh him?? Ok, that's a little neurotic don't you think?
Me: Um.
Her: (looking at Dan) She's crazy isn't she?! (looking at me) You're crazy!
Me: laughing, trying to pretend like my son not eating is a hilarious joke.
Dan: Yes!
And that was the end of it.
I accept those words. I embrace my crazy side. But I'm still wondering why my child doesn't like to eat?? I guess we'll never know. Calm mom's don't need to know. And I'm a calm mom....these knots in my back and shoulders prove that I am. Right? (seriously, if Dan says "Goose-fra-braaaa" Name that movie to me ONE more time I might show him what crazy really is!)
In the end, I realized that maybe I need to calm down and I'm glad that his pediatrician is real with us. Sometimes crazies just need to be called crazy by the right person before they realize they're 42 seconds away from being admitted to looney bin.
P.S. the lactation consultant also gently hinted at the fact that I'm cookoo as well when I told her I had to taste the breast milk because it smelled rotten. I'm getting used to the label now. Just so you know, we have been force feeding our child rotten breast milk from the freezer, so my taste test was not for not. I cry just thinking about this, so maybe in a later post it will be explained. I'm working on being calm, this subject does not make me calm. In fact, my eye just twitched.
Lets move on to why my neighbor is even crazier than I am.
She called me a grandma the other day.
I honestly wish I could have taken a picture of my face at this point. WTF is what my face had written all over it. I was walking down the stairs as she was walking into her house
Her: "aww you have your grandson with you today?"
Me: Just thinking maybe she slipped and said grandson instead of son "um.uh. yep"
Her: "aren't grand kids the best?"
I don't know moron, ask me in 40 years!
Don't ever question why I try to stay locked in my house for as many hours as possible every day
My Grandson
Monday, March 26, 2012
39 + 5
I always knew Mason would be born on the 16th....until the 15th rolled around and I was having no contractions at all. My hips had about had it with this little boy planting himself on them for 9 months. He was head down my entire pregnancy and it was really beginning to wear on me. I went on a walk Sunday night around 6pm hoping that would help with contractions. No such luck. I left my mom's house that night around nine o'clock and told her as I walked out the door "he's not coming for at least another week." And I was dead serious. Little did I know a waterfall was about to explode. (Seriously, do not let anyone ever tell you that your water breaking is just a little trickle. It's not.) At 11:45 pm my water broke in bed. (Yay for mattress pads!) I was stunned. Literally. I didn't know what to do. I had not mentally rehearsed it happening like this, so I had no plan (and I need a plan). Dan turned on the light and we just stared at each other. Then I started laughing because the look on Dan's face told me that he had no plan either. In fact, his exact words were "I have no idea what is going on really. I'll google it" Um, we're having a baby honey. Once I turned my brain on I decided to get in the shower while Dan googled away. I wonder what he typed in exactly? I can only imagine. One 30 minute shower later (because that's how long it took for Niagara Falls to decide it was ok to calm down) I remembered my sister telling me to go straight to the hospital if my water ever broke. I called the nurse at the hospital and she told me to come in right away and they would check to see if my water was actually broken. I wanted to laugh when she told me that. I'm pretty sure I haven't been peeing my pants for the last 30 minutes. In fact, I think it's hilarious that the first thought pregnant women actually think of when their water breaks is "am I peeing?" lol so dumb. As if we go around wetting our pants for 9 months and can't tell the difference?! Denial is what I call it =). By 1am we were checking into the Family Birth Place. I knew the nurses didn't believe that my water had broken because I wasn't having any contractions at all. They weren't even going to put me in a real room at first, just an observation room. Once the nurse determined that it had actually broken, reality set in. We.are.having.a.freaking.baby. From here on everything went SO fast. They started pitocin and checked me around 2am and I was only at a 2 (I'd been a two for 2 weeks). Still no contractions. I asked the nurse when she thought I should call my mom to tell her to come in. She said to wait until morning and let her know that you're here and she can make her way in. I got the impression that she thought I wouldn't be having the baby until later in the evening on Monday. About 30 min later the pitocin kicked in. The contractions weren't too bad. They were bearable. At 3:30 my nurse checked me again and I was still at a 2 and the contractions were getting worse. Of course I started getting nauseated and throwing up, but I expected that because that's how I roll when I'm in pain. A little Zofran and we were back in contraction business. By this time Dan was sleeping on the most uncomfortable pull out bed I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, could we replace those at least once a decade?! At 5:00 my sister came into work. She works on the L&D floor so she got to come visit and check on me throughout the morning. At 6:00am I was only at a 3.5 and the contractions were terrible. I could no longer talk through them and the nurse had to remind me to breath. I tried really hard not to be dramatic about it. I've watched plenty of TLC's "It's a Baby Story" to know that people can get pretty annoying and dramatic while in labor, and I was determined not to be one of those. My nurse recommended that I get the epidural at that point because my cervix was so far back still and it wouldn't move forward unless I was relaxed. In fact her exact words were "you're getting an epidural girl!" I was amazed at how quickly the anesthesiologist was in my room. I was also amazed at how it seemed like it took forever to get the epidural in the right spot and working. I remember the Doctor telling me "about 10 more minutes and you should be feeling great" and I said "TEN WHOLE MINUTES? HOLY CRAP!" I thought I would die before the 10 minutes was up. But I lived. After the epidural kicked in I tried to rest. Around 8:00 am I decided to call my mom. Zayden had spent the night at her house the night before so I knew I needed to give her enough time to get Zayden ready and to his dad. At this point I was still thinking Mason wouldn't be here until that evening. The nurse checked me right before I called my mom and I was already at a 6. I told my mom not to rush, but that I was at a 6. Thirty minutes later Mason's heartbeat started to drop. The nurse quickly came in and said that we may have to turn off the pitocin if it kept happening. She checked me and I was at an 8. I hurried and called my mom and said "Uh, ok, maybe hurry a little." I did not want her to miss it. By 9 o'clock Mason's heart beat started dropping consistently. I was getting really nervous because I knew my nurse was in another delivery and no one had come in to check on me or Mason during the decels. I was about to push the nurse button when one of the other nurses came rushing in. She said she was going to check me because I was probably fully dilated. I remember saying "She just checked me a 20 minutes ago, there's no way." Her response? "You're a 10. I'll call your doctor in" I about died! 
I called my mom and said "get here now!" She walked in the room right as I was pushing. phew! I was so relieved when she finally made it. Next thing I knew my Doctor was there with his big goofy smile. Seriously, the best word to describe him is "goober" He's just so relaxed and always has this big quirky smile on his face. I really like him though. It was weird to see him in jeans and a T-shirt. It's kind of like seeing your Bishop wearing anything but a suit. haha! Back to the story....The Doctor had me push about 5 times and BAM, our little guy was in the Doctors arms screaming his little brains out! Those first cries were so precious. Dan and I had said the whole pregnancy that we wouldn't believe we were really having a baby until we could see and hear him. 
My first thought was how small he looked....and his head wasn't huge! (I had this irrational fear the whole pregnancy that he was big head Tod). My doctor had guessed that he would be around 8 lbs, so I was expecting a bigger baby.
Dan said his little cry sounded like donald duck. And it did.
I called my mom and said "get here now!" She walked in the room right as I was pushing. phew! I was so relieved when she finally made it. Next thing I knew my Doctor was there with his big goofy smile. Seriously, the best word to describe him is "goober" He's just so relaxed and always has this big quirky smile on his face. I really like him though. It was weird to see him in jeans and a T-shirt. It's kind of like seeing your Bishop wearing anything but a suit. haha! Back to the story....The Doctor had me push about 5 times and BAM, our little guy was in the Doctors arms screaming his little brains out! Those first cries were so precious. Dan and I had said the whole pregnancy that we wouldn't believe we were really having a baby until we could see and hear him. 
My first thought was how small he looked....and his head wasn't huge! (I had this irrational fear the whole pregnancy that he was big head Tod). My doctor had guessed that he would be around 8 lbs, so I was expecting a bigger baby.
Dan said his little cry sounded like donald duck. And it did.
After he was all cleaned up we got to cuddle our new little burrito.
And that's how we became Fisher, party of 3.
And that's how we became Fisher, party of 3.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Poop stains and Hanes
New Years eve 2011....the day I realized how out of touch I am with my feminine side/reality/society in general.
No really.
The game: Cranium.
8 of us playing. Guys against girls. I only know one other couple in the room.
Question for the girls: Write down the first 3 words that come to mind when you hear the word 'underwear'. To win, 2 of our answers have to match up with someone from our team.
So, all 4 of us write down our answers.
Their answers (that actually match up with each other!):
Panties
Victorias Secret
Lingerie
My answers (that actually matched up with NO ONE):
Poop stains and Hanes.
I couldn't even come up with a 3rd
Imagine how awesome it was for me to read those out loud after hearing their answers! I managed to get through it with tears of laughter. Although, a piece of me still died in that moment.
Next stop: Victorias Secret for some "panties"
I hope your new year started off as humiliating as mine!
No really.
The game: Cranium.
8 of us playing. Guys against girls. I only know one other couple in the room.
Question for the girls: Write down the first 3 words that come to mind when you hear the word 'underwear'. To win, 2 of our answers have to match up with someone from our team.
So, all 4 of us write down our answers.
Their answers (that actually match up with each other!):
Panties
Victorias Secret
Lingerie
My answers (that actually matched up with NO ONE):
Poop stains and Hanes.
I couldn't even come up with a 3rd
Imagine how awesome it was for me to read those out loud after hearing their answers! I managed to get through it with tears of laughter. Although, a piece of me still died in that moment.
Next stop: Victorias Secret for some "panties"
I hope your new year started off as humiliating as mine!
This is how you know you're pregnant
You know you're pregnant when...
You can't breath.
You get excited over a breast pump.
Your first thought after buying a pump is to try it out on your husband. What?
You clean the kitchen and you're flat out exhausted afterward.
You try to convince yourself that breast feeding will be awesome...
Every website you visit has something to do with babies
Heartburn. Need I say more?
You think the 3D pictures of your baby isn't creepy. In fact, it's adorable!
You can make it to the toilet in pitch darkness....4 times a night.
It's a great day when you don't dry heave while brushing your teeth!
You've researched every product on your baby registry extensively.
Bedtime is at 8pm
You have 3 shirts that actually fit and it sucks when they're all dirty.
Coughing and peeing are no longer two seperate tasks. Aye!
You feel like your hips are about to break in half when you stand up.
You walk into a room and people move so you can sit down. Yessss
Your husband doesn't look at you weird when you eat a gallon of milk and a box of cereal every three days. Or does he look at you weird and you just don't care?
You find out that they sell maternity garments in your 8th month and you're totally stoked to wear them! (And you're husband looks at them and says "what.are.those?"
You have to text your aunt and ask her how the crap you nurse with garments. Pull them up? Pull them down? Cut a hole in the boob? Oh, nursing garments you say? ah!
You take your nephew to the Dr's appointment with you and he screams "I see Juju's butt!" over and over and over....and you want to die, but you don't. You laugh and pretend like he's not saying it.
You go to the baby's room just to look how cute his crib is.
And last but not least, you pray for 10 fingers and 10 toes and dark hair. Haha!
You can't breath.
You get excited over a breast pump.
Your first thought after buying a pump is to try it out on your husband. What?
You clean the kitchen and you're flat out exhausted afterward.
You try to convince yourself that breast feeding will be awesome...
Every website you visit has something to do with babies
Heartburn. Need I say more?
You think the 3D pictures of your baby isn't creepy. In fact, it's adorable!
You can make it to the toilet in pitch darkness....4 times a night.
It's a great day when you don't dry heave while brushing your teeth!
You've researched every product on your baby registry extensively.
Bedtime is at 8pm
You have 3 shirts that actually fit and it sucks when they're all dirty.
Coughing and peeing are no longer two seperate tasks. Aye!
You feel like your hips are about to break in half when you stand up.
You walk into a room and people move so you can sit down. Yessss
Your husband doesn't look at you weird when you eat a gallon of milk and a box of cereal every three days. Or does he look at you weird and you just don't care?
You find out that they sell maternity garments in your 8th month and you're totally stoked to wear them! (And you're husband looks at them and says "what.are.those?"
You have to text your aunt and ask her how the crap you nurse with garments. Pull them up? Pull them down? Cut a hole in the boob? Oh, nursing garments you say? ah!
You take your nephew to the Dr's appointment with you and he screams "I see Juju's butt!" over and over and over....and you want to die, but you don't. You laugh and pretend like he's not saying it.
You go to the baby's room just to look how cute his crib is.
And last but not least, you pray for 10 fingers and 10 toes and dark hair. Haha!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Happy Halloween!
Zayden and I made witch hats for Halloween. 1 Hershey kiss, 1 keebler cookie, and a dab of frosting. He was so proud, he wanted pictures, and he wanted to carry them around all day.
The tips of the witch hats were just too temping....he had to bite every.single.one of them off. And I let him, because that's what cool aunts do...they let their nephews do whatever they want, then they send them home with mommy.
The tips of the witch hats were just too temping....he had to bite every.single.one of them off. And I let him, because that's what cool aunts do...they let their nephews do whatever they want, then they send them home with mommy.
Next hat
Next hat
Taa daa! The tipless witch hats
Doesn't he look so proud? He insisted the pumpkins be in the picture as well
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The magic of an abacus
This post is for my mom to see what we'll be making ASAP for the fishy in my belly. I bet you all thought I was actually going to blog something, didn't you? One day friends, one day.
Mom, the worst part about this is there are no instructions. Hahaha. Ours will turn out to be a triangle. And how awesome is the yellow dresser? I'd never dare, but someone awesome would dare.
p.s. thanks for pinning this, Camille. I believe since you pinned it, you have to help me make it!
Mom, the worst part about this is there are no instructions. Hahaha. Ours will turn out to be a triangle. And how awesome is the yellow dresser? I'd never dare, but someone awesome would dare.p.s. thanks for pinning this, Camille. I believe since you pinned it, you have to help me make it!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
He Drives!
Today I have been reflecting on the last 6 years of this bittersweet thing we call life. Lots of bitter mixed in with a lot of sweet. In the end, we are blessed. oh so blessed. In 2004 Dan was trying desperately to figure out what he wanted to be when he grew up. (I was desperately trying to figure out why he hadn't thought of this before the age of 22?!) One night we drove past a fire department and I said "why don't you be a fireman?" I obviously had no idea what we were getting into. Six years later we know what the life of a fireman entails, and I'm so glad we do! Dan has worked so hard. I'm amazed at his persistent determination to get what he deserves. Anyone that knows the process of becoming a full time firefighter knows how depleting it can be. Dan was told "no" far too many times, but he never threw in the towel...even when I did. In 2008 he started as a full time firefighter. Just two days ago he found out he got promoted to Driver. I'm so happy for him! There were 15guys testing for only 2 positions and he landed one of them because he's a rock star! Even though he was happy he got the position and passed all 2 days of testing, he is very sad to leave the current crew he has worked with for the last 5 months. Dan has worked with some awesome guys and he has also worked with some really not awesome guys in his career. These guys were some of the awesome guys. They all just clicked...(and I'm pretty sure they all had man crushes on each other. Shhhhhh.) I'm sure his new crew will be fine. Change is hard, but we're excited for it! Good luck to my little Gomer!
Badge pinning
Badge pinning
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Remember when...
We drove backward to church?
We live right at the foot of the mountain, so naturally we have to climb a mountain to get to our church building because there was no better place to build it? Anyway, my really nice, expensive car has a hard time going up the hill when it's not snowing...so you can imagine how awesome it is when it's snowing, right? Before we even turned onto the street we saw 2 cars sliding down the hill backward. So Dan guns it (like a true Arizonan) thinking he was going to make it up the hill? I guess? Growing up in Idaho where we actually have seasons I knew this was a bad idea, but I also knew it would be hilarious. So we make it like 6.2 feet up the hill and start sliding back, then sideways, and now we're facing the wrong direction. At this point I would have just gone home and jumped back in bed, but I had to teach Sunday School and we were already late(me, late? never). Without hesitation Dan put the car in reverse and we drove backward to church. The coolest part was neither of us turned around to watch behind us. We looked forward and Dan glanced in the mirror every once in awhile. We were going backward, and looking forward. Just picture it, then laugh. Because that's funny.
We live right at the foot of the mountain, so naturally we have to climb a mountain to get to our church building because there was no better place to build it? Anyway, my really nice, expensive car has a hard time going up the hill when it's not snowing...so you can imagine how awesome it is when it's snowing, right? Before we even turned onto the street we saw 2 cars sliding down the hill backward. So Dan guns it (like a true Arizonan) thinking he was going to make it up the hill? I guess? Growing up in Idaho where we actually have seasons I knew this was a bad idea, but I also knew it would be hilarious. So we make it like 6.2 feet up the hill and start sliding back, then sideways, and now we're facing the wrong direction. At this point I would have just gone home and jumped back in bed, but I had to teach Sunday School and we were already late(me, late? never). Without hesitation Dan put the car in reverse and we drove backward to church. The coolest part was neither of us turned around to watch behind us. We looked forward and Dan glanced in the mirror every once in awhile. We were going backward, and looking forward. Just picture it, then laugh. Because that's funny.
Monday, April 18, 2011
My 100th Post!
Happy Easter!
I hope to remember what we're truly celebrating this Easter.
"I am the resurrection and the life.
He that believeth in me....shall live:and whoever liveth, shall never die"
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Underoos
The door bell rang. Dan opened it. Two guys from the Elders Quorum presidency stood at the door. I invited them in. I turned around and realized we had underwear spread all over the living room. Literally. My nephew had taken every piece of underwear out of the laundry basket and threw it while I wasn't watching. Tops and bottoms. About 25 undies lay spread eagle on the floor, couch, chair, ottoman....you name it.
And all I could say was "Um, our underwear are all over the house."
This is not my life.
This is not my life.
The underwear slinger.
It's a good thing he's cute.
It's a good thing he's cute.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
You're thirty, dirty, and a bit nerdy
My favorite person just turned 30! Seems like just yesterday I was changing your diapers and making you bottles.....wait, what?
I love you times 30!
p.s. can you tell by the clothing that it was freezing in San Diego?!!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Another one
This is one that I have told a lot of people. BUT I have to write it down so I can look back in 3 years and remember the hilarity. This story is pretty much par for our life....weird and hilarious. It's kind of long because it has a back story with it.
Just in case you didn't know already, I'm a Mormon, yes I am. There are all sorts of people that belong to the LDS church.....Nice, fat, skinny, pretty, weird, awesome, fugly, and completely crazy.
Completely crazy is who I'll be telling you about today...mixed in with nice.
There's this lady in our ward that is seriously one of the nicest people on earth. She loves me and I don't even know her name. When I taught Gospel Doctrine she would come up to me or call me after church to tell me (and I quote) "What an amazingly spiritual person you are. You have so much wisdom for your age." Dan and I would die laughing every time. It is pretty funny if you really think about it. Using spiritual and wisdom in the same sentence as Julie Fisher=kinda funny. Obnoxious and negative would be better words to use, but whatever. We'll stick with the first description.
Sister Nice is the ward choir director, and she takes this calling very seriously. She even takes it upon herself to re-compose the songs they sing. She does this by holding notes out in weird places, or pausing in the middle of sentences. A person listening to this music will do one of two things...#1-feel so awkward that they want to crawl out of their own skin. #2-Bend over in the pew and pee their pants laughing. We tried #1 the first few times we heard the angels singing, but it just wasn't my cup of tea. So I rudely chose option numero dos. I'm sorry, I cannot help it. It is THAT funny. Let me give you an example: "There is suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunSHINE in my soul today, more glorious...............pause.....................and bright!"
Try to convince me that's not funny!
One week Dan and I regrettably sat about 4 rows from the front on a week that the choir was to be singing. Before the meeting started Sister Nice came down and asked me to sing with the choir. Ok, I've NEVER been to any practice....not one. I've never even shown interest in joining the choir...soooo wtf? I told her I didn't even know the song and she said it was just a song from the hymn book. Dan thinks he's being all funny and says "You should do it hun." then he looks and Sister Nice and says, "She has a really really good singing voice." That's when I piped in and said "So does he, do you need more men to sing?" Of course Sister Nice got all excited and we were officially members of the choir! Yay!
I didn't get nervous until I was up on stage because that is when I suddenly remembered her weird stops and starts and note holding obsession. To make a long story short, she did re-compose it and I wasn't holding out the right notes or pausing at the right moments....and neither were half the people around me that had been to choir practice. So it sounded terrible and my eyes were watering from holding my laugh for so long. Pretty much it was an embarrassing disaster.
Fast forward 4 weeks. Some choir members were on the stage when we walked into Sacrament meeting, so to avoid being asked to join the choir once again, Dan and I leave and walk around the halls until right before the meeting started. We came in and sat on the very back row. We thought we were safe, but we underestimated Sister Nice. After the first talk, the choir got up to sing. Sister nice turns around toward the audience and is staring right at us. So I look at Dan and say "DO NOT make eye contact." By this time all the choir members are on the stage trying to get into their seats. I look up and Sister Nice catches my eye and starts waving us forward. At first it was just a little wave with her fingers, like "come on up here buddy." Then it got worse. She started using both of her arms, raised above her head, smiling, nodding, waving like a maniac. Dan is looking down at a hymn book trying not to laugh, and I am looking past her pretending like I don't see the waving....as if it could go unnoticed. Everyone in the audience is looking around while I sit on the back row with a straight face. In my head I am thinking "OH MY HELL IS THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENING. STOP LADY, JUST STOP WAVING YOUR ARMS AND SING!" Finally she gives up because everyone is in their seats ready to sing. So she turns around and says something to the choir, and just when we thought the awkwardness was over she turns around AGAIN. She waves her arms at us with the biggest smile on her face. I wish I could have taken a picture of my face right there in that moment. I was stunned. Who does this?! Dan is now bent over laughing....I have tears coming out of my eyes from holding in the laughter. She proceeds to wave like a wild animal over and over and over while I proceed to look past her and smile. Finally, after what seemed like 31 minutes, she gave up.....and I gave up on holding back the laughter. The funniest part of the whole thing is that the couple in front of us thought she was waving at them. So they're sitting there shaking their heads, motioning no with their hands, mouthing NO, and feeling really uncomfortable. We were laughing so hard we were crying. Totally irreverent. Then, as if that wasn't funny enough the choir starts singing the re-composed words of Sister Nice......and the somewhat quiet laughter turned into completely inappropriate and we had to get up and leave before we were struck with lightening.
My last words as we stood on the sidewalk and laughed: "That did NOT just happen!"
p.s. You ought to see Dan' impression of Sister Nice. Diapers must be worn when you watch it.
p.s.s. She called me after church and left a 3 min. 10 second voice mail about how she was waving at us to come up there to sing and how spiritual I am.
Yep...this is my life.
Just in case you didn't know already, I'm a Mormon, yes I am. There are all sorts of people that belong to the LDS church.....Nice, fat, skinny, pretty, weird, awesome, fugly, and completely crazy.
Completely crazy is who I'll be telling you about today...mixed in with nice.
There's this lady in our ward that is seriously one of the nicest people on earth. She loves me and I don't even know her name. When I taught Gospel Doctrine she would come up to me or call me after church to tell me (and I quote) "What an amazingly spiritual person you are. You have so much wisdom for your age." Dan and I would die laughing every time. It is pretty funny if you really think about it. Using spiritual and wisdom in the same sentence as Julie Fisher=kinda funny. Obnoxious and negative would be better words to use, but whatever. We'll stick with the first description.
Sister Nice is the ward choir director, and she takes this calling very seriously. She even takes it upon herself to re-compose the songs they sing. She does this by holding notes out in weird places, or pausing in the middle of sentences. A person listening to this music will do one of two things...#1-feel so awkward that they want to crawl out of their own skin. #2-Bend over in the pew and pee their pants laughing. We tried #1 the first few times we heard the angels singing, but it just wasn't my cup of tea. So I rudely chose option numero dos. I'm sorry, I cannot help it. It is THAT funny. Let me give you an example: "There is suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunSHINE in my soul today, more glorious...............pause.....................and bright!"
Try to convince me that's not funny!
One week Dan and I regrettably sat about 4 rows from the front on a week that the choir was to be singing. Before the meeting started Sister Nice came down and asked me to sing with the choir. Ok, I've NEVER been to any practice....not one. I've never even shown interest in joining the choir...soooo wtf? I told her I didn't even know the song and she said it was just a song from the hymn book. Dan thinks he's being all funny and says "You should do it hun." then he looks and Sister Nice and says, "She has a really really good singing voice." That's when I piped in and said "So does he, do you need more men to sing?" Of course Sister Nice got all excited and we were officially members of the choir! Yay!
I didn't get nervous until I was up on stage because that is when I suddenly remembered her weird stops and starts and note holding obsession. To make a long story short, she did re-compose it and I wasn't holding out the right notes or pausing at the right moments....and neither were half the people around me that had been to choir practice. So it sounded terrible and my eyes were watering from holding my laugh for so long. Pretty much it was an embarrassing disaster.
Fast forward 4 weeks. Some choir members were on the stage when we walked into Sacrament meeting, so to avoid being asked to join the choir once again, Dan and I leave and walk around the halls until right before the meeting started. We came in and sat on the very back row. We thought we were safe, but we underestimated Sister Nice. After the first talk, the choir got up to sing. Sister nice turns around toward the audience and is staring right at us. So I look at Dan and say "DO NOT make eye contact." By this time all the choir members are on the stage trying to get into their seats. I look up and Sister Nice catches my eye and starts waving us forward. At first it was just a little wave with her fingers, like "come on up here buddy." Then it got worse. She started using both of her arms, raised above her head, smiling, nodding, waving like a maniac. Dan is looking down at a hymn book trying not to laugh, and I am looking past her pretending like I don't see the waving....as if it could go unnoticed. Everyone in the audience is looking around while I sit on the back row with a straight face. In my head I am thinking "OH MY HELL IS THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENING. STOP LADY, JUST STOP WAVING YOUR ARMS AND SING!" Finally she gives up because everyone is in their seats ready to sing. So she turns around and says something to the choir, and just when we thought the awkwardness was over she turns around AGAIN. She waves her arms at us with the biggest smile on her face. I wish I could have taken a picture of my face right there in that moment. I was stunned. Who does this?! Dan is now bent over laughing....I have tears coming out of my eyes from holding in the laughter. She proceeds to wave like a wild animal over and over and over while I proceed to look past her and smile. Finally, after what seemed like 31 minutes, she gave up.....and I gave up on holding back the laughter. The funniest part of the whole thing is that the couple in front of us thought she was waving at them. So they're sitting there shaking their heads, motioning no with their hands, mouthing NO, and feeling really uncomfortable. We were laughing so hard we were crying. Totally irreverent. Then, as if that wasn't funny enough the choir starts singing the re-composed words of Sister Nice......and the somewhat quiet laughter turned into completely inappropriate and we had to get up and leave before we were struck with lightening.
My last words as we stood on the sidewalk and laughed: "That did NOT just happen!"
p.s. You ought to see Dan' impression of Sister Nice. Diapers must be worn when you watch it.
p.s.s. She called me after church and left a 3 min. 10 second voice mail about how she was waving at us to come up there to sing and how spiritual I am.
Yep...this is my life.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Remember when?
Dan went to Hastings to rent a movie or a game....I can't remember which, irrelevant really. He went to check out and the amazingly clueless teenager ringing him up told him that his membership expired. Here's the conversation....
Clueless: This membership expired.
Dan: Ok, can I renew it? Or do I need to sign up for a new one?
Clueless: Um. No.
Dan: No?
Clueless: Your membership is expired so you can't rent this.
Dan: I realize it's expired, how do I get one that isn't expired?
Clueless: You can't. It's expired.
Dan (can you just picture the look on his face at this point?): Uhhhhh
Clueless: *stands there and stares*
Dan: So I can't ever rent from here because it expired.
Clueless: That's right
Dan: So what you're telling me right now is that since this card that you give to customers for free expired, there is no way that I can get a new one, which means I can never ever rent from Hastings again?
Clueless: Yes, that's correct.
Dan's mind was officially blown. He started laughing and left.
He came home and told me the story and I laid on the bed and laughed my face off.
Here's what I get from this story....
#1-People are extremely stupid. wow.
#2-How on earth did that kid get a job?????? It took me three months to find a job here and I have common sense!
#3-Who trained him and why does that trainer still have a job?
#4-Dan is too nice. I would have laughed in the kids face and told him to get a supervisor.
#5-Who are his parents?
#6-Our life is hilarious.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I've got nothin'
Update anyone? Oh I'd love to give you one....but I've got nothing to say. Usually when something awesomely awesome happens in my life I come to my blog and jot a few notes down about it to remind myself to write about it, but I have not been doing this lately so I don't remember anything. Also, I feel like I have missed writing about so many events that I hate to just move on like nothing ever happened....but I must!
I'll start keeping better notes starting today.
You know what else I started today? Jillians Michaels 30 day shred.....and I used Zayden's spaghetti o's as weights. I hated every second of it. I wish I was one of those people that hated food and loved working out. Life would be awesome. Speaking of food, I cannot wait to end this blog so I can go whip up some lemon poppy seed muffins. Who'd like to join me?
A few weeks ago we went to Twin to see Adyson. Love her to bits!
Her latest funnies:
Ady: "Grandma is your house trashed?"
My mom and I start laughing
Grandma: "What???"
Ady: "Is your house trashed?"
Grandma: "No, why do you ask that?"
Ady: "Oh I don't know, I just thought maybe Zayden had been there."
My mom and I died. What 4 year old uses the word "trashed"? Seriously hilarious.
Her big thing that she loves loves loves to play is school. She's always the teacher. My mom has bought her a whole school set up....pointer and all. She thinks it's so awesome to boss us around and we think it's not awesome but we play along anyway.
Ady: "Draw the number five. Don't make me call the cops on you!"
Apparently she had just learned about the police and 911 in school. So all weekend we heard her threats of calling the cops and the ambulance if we didn't obey her. At one point I got kind of worried that she didn't truly understand that you can't just call the cops for stupid stuff, so I double checked with her about when we should actually call them. I do not want her to end up on "the stupidest 911 calls" on youtube one day. She seemed to understand pretty well.
She's still in love with dogs and cats and she cannot understand why I hate cats. Don't worry, I refrain from telling her how stinky and selfish they are. She tries to keep her cat away from me and apologizes for it when it comes near me. One time the dogs started barking outside and she looked at me and said, "Ugh! Be quiet dumb dogs! I am sorry they are acting like this, Ju." lol she cracks me up.
Dan just recently changed stations at work and he l.o.v.e.s it. Sometimes he forgets to call home during the day because he l.o.v.e.s it so much. Turd. He likes the guys he works with and they all seem to get along pretty well. Dan gets along with almost anybody, but he met his match at the last station he worked at. It was a rough year, but we've moved on & we're oh so glad.
I always find it funny how excited people get when they find out Dan is a firefighter. We actually had one guy ask Dan if he could come to the station and try on his turn outs just to see what it feels like. Not even kidding. I always warn Dan about getting a big head over peoples comments. Lets face it, there are some firefighters out there that are just a little too excited to be labeled "heroes". Call me a bad wife, but I refuse to have my husband be one of those. Men are usually the ones that start oogling over the fact that he can call himself DanDan the fireman (okay, maybe only I call him that). The other day he went to the chiropractor and the dude instantly fell in love with him once he found out his profession....and upon leaving the office the Chiro said "Cool, now I can say that I actually KNOW a firefighter." Really? Does it automatically make you cool amongst your peers to KNOW a firefighter? If so, I am one lucky SOB because I married one. Yessssss. People can hate me all they want, but once I drop the "my eternal companion is a fireman" bomb, I'm automatically in like flynn. How lucky is my life?!
Speaking of the fireman, he turns 30 next month! Who's exciteeeed?! Not him! He thinks it's lame that he's 30 with no child. I think it's pretty lame as well. If I could buy him a baby for his birthday, I would. In fact, I'd buy him 30 babies just so we could get our own TV show on TLC. What isn't lame is that he's 30 and he's still pretty awesome. Although, in 30 years he's acquired some pretty troublesome habits...let me name 30 of them for you. Hahaha I kid I kid...but seriously, for your next 30 years lets work on the sniffing and twitching in bed while I'm trying to snooze, can we? kthanksbye.
I will close with these tidbit gems:
-Don't you love when you're in sacrament meeting and the speaker that has gone on and on for the past 35 minutes says "I will close with....". Oh man my heart skips a beat because I know they're about to shut their pie hole. Haha...don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
-My arm has been twitching all night. I literally started punching myself to try and stop it. Still twitching....
-I just looked through pictures of when Adyson & Zayden were babes....hellz bellz they are stinkin adorable. The pictures of them in their car seats and bassinets make me want to have a baby like you wouldn't believe. I cannot wait to take pictures of my babies all snuggled up in a bassinet with their bums up in the air. (Yes, I know babies aren't supposed to sleep on their bellies...I've read 6 parenting books. Crazy much?)
-I didn't shower today.
-We're going to San Diego next month!
-I miss my husband today.
-I'm in the 'clean it out and throw it away' mood.
-My mom reminded me today of when we saw Chris Cagle in concert and he started fake crying. I'm laughing as I type this. Seriously awkward.
-Speaking of awkward how 'bout the After the Final Rose show? Uhhhhhh....2 months, tops.
-This is what is on my night stand right now.....a 3oz jar of Mentholatum (I'm addicted, so what?). Deodorant. Water. IB Profen. A giraffe that holds my wedding ring. A box from Honduras. Earrings. A lamp. And the best thing off all, Flarp. Google it. Should I try to squeeze any other non essential item on my night stand?
-I just got the funniest text from my bff. Tears.
-I told you I had absolutely nothing to talk about.
-No pictures because I'm Laz-zay.
I'll start keeping better notes starting today.
You know what else I started today? Jillians Michaels 30 day shred.....and I used Zayden's spaghetti o's as weights. I hated every second of it. I wish I was one of those people that hated food and loved working out. Life would be awesome. Speaking of food, I cannot wait to end this blog so I can go whip up some lemon poppy seed muffins. Who'd like to join me?
A few weeks ago we went to Twin to see Adyson. Love her to bits!
Her latest funnies:
Ady: "Grandma is your house trashed?"
My mom and I start laughing
Grandma: "What???"
Ady: "Is your house trashed?"
Grandma: "No, why do you ask that?"
Ady: "Oh I don't know, I just thought maybe Zayden had been there."
My mom and I died. What 4 year old uses the word "trashed"? Seriously hilarious.
Her big thing that she loves loves loves to play is school. She's always the teacher. My mom has bought her a whole school set up....pointer and all. She thinks it's so awesome to boss us around and we think it's not awesome but we play along anyway.
Ady: "Draw the number five. Don't make me call the cops on you!"
Apparently she had just learned about the police and 911 in school. So all weekend we heard her threats of calling the cops and the ambulance if we didn't obey her. At one point I got kind of worried that she didn't truly understand that you can't just call the cops for stupid stuff, so I double checked with her about when we should actually call them. I do not want her to end up on "the stupidest 911 calls" on youtube one day. She seemed to understand pretty well.
She's still in love with dogs and cats and she cannot understand why I hate cats. Don't worry, I refrain from telling her how stinky and selfish they are. She tries to keep her cat away from me and apologizes for it when it comes near me. One time the dogs started barking outside and she looked at me and said, "Ugh! Be quiet dumb dogs! I am sorry they are acting like this, Ju." lol she cracks me up.
Dan just recently changed stations at work and he l.o.v.e.s it. Sometimes he forgets to call home during the day because he l.o.v.e.s it so much. Turd. He likes the guys he works with and they all seem to get along pretty well. Dan gets along with almost anybody, but he met his match at the last station he worked at. It was a rough year, but we've moved on & we're oh so glad.
I always find it funny how excited people get when they find out Dan is a firefighter. We actually had one guy ask Dan if he could come to the station and try on his turn outs just to see what it feels like. Not even kidding. I always warn Dan about getting a big head over peoples comments. Lets face it, there are some firefighters out there that are just a little too excited to be labeled "heroes". Call me a bad wife, but I refuse to have my husband be one of those. Men are usually the ones that start oogling over the fact that he can call himself DanDan the fireman (okay, maybe only I call him that). The other day he went to the chiropractor and the dude instantly fell in love with him once he found out his profession....and upon leaving the office the Chiro said "Cool, now I can say that I actually KNOW a firefighter." Really? Does it automatically make you cool amongst your peers to KNOW a firefighter? If so, I am one lucky SOB because I married one. Yessssss. People can hate me all they want, but once I drop the "my eternal companion is a fireman" bomb, I'm automatically in like flynn. How lucky is my life?!
Speaking of the fireman, he turns 30 next month! Who's exciteeeed?! Not him! He thinks it's lame that he's 30 with no child. I think it's pretty lame as well. If I could buy him a baby for his birthday, I would. In fact, I'd buy him 30 babies just so we could get our own TV show on TLC. What isn't lame is that he's 30 and he's still pretty awesome. Although, in 30 years he's acquired some pretty troublesome habits...let me name 30 of them for you. Hahaha I kid I kid...but seriously, for your next 30 years lets work on the sniffing and twitching in bed while I'm trying to snooze, can we? kthanksbye.
I will close with these tidbit gems:
-Don't you love when you're in sacrament meeting and the speaker that has gone on and on for the past 35 minutes says "I will close with....". Oh man my heart skips a beat because I know they're about to shut their pie hole. Haha...don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
-My arm has been twitching all night. I literally started punching myself to try and stop it. Still twitching....
-I just looked through pictures of when Adyson & Zayden were babes....hellz bellz they are stinkin adorable. The pictures of them in their car seats and bassinets make me want to have a baby like you wouldn't believe. I cannot wait to take pictures of my babies all snuggled up in a bassinet with their bums up in the air. (Yes, I know babies aren't supposed to sleep on their bellies...I've read 6 parenting books. Crazy much?)
-I didn't shower today.
-We're going to San Diego next month!
-I miss my husband today.
-I'm in the 'clean it out and throw it away' mood.
-My mom reminded me today of when we saw Chris Cagle in concert and he started fake crying. I'm laughing as I type this. Seriously awkward.
-Speaking of awkward how 'bout the After the Final Rose show? Uhhhhhh....2 months, tops.
-This is what is on my night stand right now.....a 3oz jar of Mentholatum (I'm addicted, so what?). Deodorant. Water. IB Profen. A giraffe that holds my wedding ring. A box from Honduras. Earrings. A lamp. And the best thing off all, Flarp. Google it. Should I try to squeeze any other non essential item on my night stand?
-I just got the funniest text from my bff. Tears.
-I told you I had absolutely nothing to talk about.
-No pictures because I'm Laz-zay.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Mish mashed and out of order.
How is it that a one and a half year old can completely exhaust a 26 year old? Shouldn't I have 26 times more energy?? Every time I turned around today my nephew had a pen, or scissors, or the dogs bone in his mouth. He's lucky he's cute is all I can say.
Isn't internet shopping fantastic? I've sufficiently drained the bank account while shopping in my underwear the last few weeks and it's been wonderful. No shoes, no shirt=no service at Target. But target.com is whole different story. No shoes, no shirt, no pants=come on in! Nothin better.
If you want to read something hilarious, you should go here. I don't even know this lady and I almost peed my pants laughing at her. Why? Because this is so something that would happen in my life. http://meanmommyuniversity.blogspot.com/2010/12/how-i-told-my-kids-mama-was-one-child.html">
Dan got new bedding last week. He's obsessed with it. It was supposed to be for work, but he kept it home instead. That night I was telling him something (really important, I'm sure!) and this was his reply, "What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the awesomeness of my pillow." I didn't know whether I should laugh or smack him. So I did both simultaneously.
On the 9th Dan and I volunteered at the Christmas Box house. We got to help sort through all of the stocking stuffer stuff. Plus we got to see all of the toys that were donated by the community. It was neat to see. When we were getting ready to leave a lady and her little boy brought in a whole suburban full of toys. It filled the whole living room area! Dan said next time he would like to volunteer with the children. I'm not sure I'm up for something like that. It's too sad for me. We'll see.
Dan's little brother got engaged recently. Yay for them! They're getting married on Dan's 30th birthday. If you remember back in one of my other posts I told you I had some great plans up my sleeve for his big 3-0. Well, a wedding wasn't exactly what I was referring to, but it is now! This is the first year in 10 years that he will be in Arizona with his family for his birthday. I think that's a great birthday gift =)
Remember the new bedding I told you about? We bought it about 2 weeks before Christmas. In fact, we went out shopping for other people and came home with $90 worth of stuff for ourselves. oh the selfishness. Dan was feeling really guilty about it once we piled it in the trunk, I was only feeling a tinge of guilt because all I bought was a pair of $5 gloves I needed. The whole way home he was feeling kind of bad. Being the good wife that I am I tried to justify every penny to help him feel better. As we were hauling our Santa sack full of goods up the stairs, our neighbor came out and told us he has been trying to get a hold of us for awhile because his vacuum broke and he wondered if he could borrow ours. My mind instantly went back 3 months earlier when I ignored his door bell ringing...I knew I should have just opened the door. We're awesome neighbors if you couldn't tell. The man had obviously been vacuum less for at least 3 months. Dan graciously offered to let him borrow ours on Sunday (because that's when he does his cleaning). As our door closed behind us Dan and I just stared at each other and all of our crap and I said, "we're buying him a vacuum, right?" Dan nodded and off to Walmart we went! We put the vacuum together and put in on his door step with a bow a few days later so he could wake up to surprise. He caught Dan as he was leaving for work that morning and told him thank you. The bad part is now he wants to be our BFF. I told Dan I didn't want him to feel that way. I wanted to give a vacuum with no strings attached. Dan's reply? "too late, he's coming over for dinner on Wednesday." Dan is too nice, he cant say no, and he doesn't know how to get out of ANYTHING. He is the official YES man, unless I'm the person wanting a yes out of him. He has no trouble saying no to "Hey, how 'bout putting child locks on the cabinet under the sink so little man doesn't eat Ajax for lunch one of these days?" or "That smell you're are gagging on is the garbage. Dumpster anyone?" Anyway, lunch with *G-fry tomorrow at 7pm. Who's joining the awkwardness? We've already conned Zayden into joining us...poor kid doesn't even know what's coming. *his name really isn't G-fry...obviously. It's Godfrey. He's from Nigeria. We called him God for awhile, but for some reason it just didn't feel right, so now his official name (when he's not around) is G-fry.
A few weeks ago I was nice and warm, sleeping so soundly when all of the sudden I feel the bed shaking. I was kind of scared for a second until I realized it was Dan laughing. I'm not talking a little chuckle either. It was uncontrollable laughter. I lay there with my eyes open trying to see if he was watching something on the computer, or reading something, or if his eyes were even open. None of the above were happening so I finally said "HONEY!" more bed shaking. "HONEY!?" The bed stopped shaking and he's trying to act all innocent, "Huh?" Right then I knew he had been asleep the whole time, but I said "Are awake? What are you laughing at you're shaking the bed!" he paused for a second, humiliated "Eh, nothin. I'll tell you later." And back to sleep land he went. Don't worry, I told him all about it the next morning.
For Christmas Dan and I got to buy all the presents for a family he helped host. It was fun, but more work than I thought it would be. We had 4 boys to buy for between the ages of 7 & 14. I've always wanted to this, but I never really knew how to go about doing it. This year Dan made it happen and I'm so glad. Even though I don't know the family, I thought about those boys off and on all Christmas day. I hope they enjoyed it despite their circumstances.
Josh and his family got to come visit us the weekend before Christmas. It was such a fun time. Ady is getting so big. She talks like she's 16 and it cracks us all up. She likes to be in charge and boss people around. I'm scared for when she's really 16. Her mean streak comes out once in awhile, which scares us because it reminds us of her mother. Yikes! She's definitely smart, and loves loves loves animals. I could squeeze her to death. We had lots of fun times, decorating gingerbread houses, snow ball fights, food, dance offs, lights, barbies, presents, and lots of laughing. It was great! We love Josh's new wife Michelle and her son Dylan. She is so laid back and a go with the flow type person. Such a breath of fresh air for all of us.
Next year Dan will be attending tithing settlement without me. He doesn't know this yet because he's still at work. I did it by myself this year whilst wrangling a fussy 18 month old who kept farting. Plus I got called the wrong name the entire time even though I kindly told him my name is Julie Fisher. You know, the Julie Fisher that comes to church every week, been in the ward 2.5 years, taught Sunday school for a year with your wife, hands you tithing EVERY WEEK because we get paid opposite weeks. Yeah, that Julie Fisher. Bless him for his efforts. Bless me not to judge. It gets harder every week. *sigh* Oh how I miss Idaho.
Christmas Eve turned crappy real fast, but only for like an hour. The weekend before while the family was here, Dan had misplaced his keys. If anyone knows Dan you know that this is so out of character for him. He never loses anything...and I lose everything. So he tried to blame me a few times, then he tried to blame the baby a few times. I was convinced it was in the toy box. That week was busy and Dan had just been using the truck key off my key chain, so we really didn't worry much about it. On Christmas eve Dan finally decided we were going to go make a new set of keys later that day when I got home. My mom and I decided to stop at DI to look for an Operation game (remember that game?) because the one she had has a broken nose and doesn't light up. When we got done shopping we put the stuff in the trunk and went to get in the car and it was locked. I had locked my keys in the trunk while looking through a bag that needed to be donated to DI. Nooooooooo! I called Dan to come get us because it was freezing and the store was closing. I was surprised at how many people came to help us. Finally an employee came out and said he had the tools to open car doors because employees lock keys in their car on a weekly basis there. Awesome, I've now been compared to a DI employee. In the meantime 2 people drove up and told us to just stick another key in the door and turn it and try to jiggle it open. Dan did it with his truck key (which is a crappy flimsy copy) and bent his key. Not awesome. 2 key stores later we got someone to make a copy, and luckily it worked! It's a Christmas miracle.
On Christmas day we got a call from my aunt saying that they were going to take my Gram to the hospital. A few days earlier she had slipped on some ice and hit her head pretty hard, so we thought maybe she had bleeding on her brain because she had been dizzy and nauseous. Come to find out it is her heart. She was in A-fib which is a pre cursor to a stroke. She's doing lots better now and we're happy she's ok. I'm so lucky to still have living grandparents, not everyone does! I love that Dan calls them grandma and grandpa, it give me a tickle every time he does. He loves them as much as I do.
On the 27th my sister called me and told me that Zayden had just tripped and cut his head open on a TV speaker. She said it was pretty bad and wondered if we could come help her hold him down at the Doctor's office because her boyfriend was at work in Logan. Luckily Dan was home that day. He did indeed need stitches and he was not happy one bit. Poor little guy. I left the room to go play with Mylie and CJ, while Joni and Dan watched him suffer. Joni cried of course and Dan admitted that was one of the more traumatic things he had seen in his life and had a hard time not crying (do not tell him I told you). He said the worst part was numbing it. The Doctor had to stick the needle in his incision 6 different times to make sure it was all numb. Blood was everywhere. He got 6 or 7 stitches total...I've never been able to count them because he never stops long enough for me to do so =)
On Christmas Eve (before the key incident), my mom went to Lee's grocery store to buy some meat for Christmas dinner. She went and looked at the prime rib, just to see how much it was. At $7 a lb she decided she would forgo the prime and find something else. As she was walking away she saw a huge bow on one of the prime ribs so she picked it up and looked at the price. It was only $2.50 a lb. It looked exactly like the other prime rib packaging, so she went and asked the butcher why it was so cheap. He smiled and said, "Merry Christmas! Every few hours we take the best part of the prime rib and mark it down and put a bow on it until someone finds it." My mom was so excited, she came home and called me right away. I love when the Christmas spirit comes out in people!
I realize I have not given an update on my office visit after my surgery. There's not much to tell, really. I have mild endometriosis, and my Doctor lasered what he could find. Still no baby though. Infertility is rough. Never in a million did I think I would have to say those words. Never. I guess it's the same mentality that a lot of us have about medical problems, "It will never happen to me." But it is happening to me and it's sad, and heartbreaking, and unfair. I was telling my mom some of the things I have to worry about everyday....ya know, peeing on this at this time, watching this, doing that, is it high, is it low, is it peaking, did I take that pill, did I do that today or was that yesterday...it never ends. My mom said "jeeeez, this is like a full time freaking job!" and it is. Except I haven't gotten paid for it yet, that's the crappy part. I realize this could all be so much worse. Life could be worse, and it is worse for a lot of people. So for now, I will count the blessings I do have, and have faith that maybe now is just not the time for us to have children. Easier said than done =)
Life is good.
I have a lot of pictures to post, so I am going to do another post with a slide show.
Isn't internet shopping fantastic? I've sufficiently drained the bank account while shopping in my underwear the last few weeks and it's been wonderful. No shoes, no shirt=no service at Target. But target.com is whole different story. No shoes, no shirt, no pants=come on in! Nothin better.
If you want to read something hilarious, you should go here. I don't even know this lady and I almost peed my pants laughing at her. Why? Because this is so something that would happen in my life. http://meanmommyuniversity.blogspot.com/2010/12/how-i-told-my-kids-mama-was-one-child.html">
Dan got new bedding last week. He's obsessed with it. It was supposed to be for work, but he kept it home instead. That night I was telling him something (really important, I'm sure!) and this was his reply, "What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the awesomeness of my pillow." I didn't know whether I should laugh or smack him. So I did both simultaneously.
On the 9th Dan and I volunteered at the Christmas Box house. We got to help sort through all of the stocking stuffer stuff. Plus we got to see all of the toys that were donated by the community. It was neat to see. When we were getting ready to leave a lady and her little boy brought in a whole suburban full of toys. It filled the whole living room area! Dan said next time he would like to volunteer with the children. I'm not sure I'm up for something like that. It's too sad for me. We'll see.
Dan's little brother got engaged recently. Yay for them! They're getting married on Dan's 30th birthday. If you remember back in one of my other posts I told you I had some great plans up my sleeve for his big 3-0. Well, a wedding wasn't exactly what I was referring to, but it is now! This is the first year in 10 years that he will be in Arizona with his family for his birthday. I think that's a great birthday gift =)
Remember the new bedding I told you about? We bought it about 2 weeks before Christmas. In fact, we went out shopping for other people and came home with $90 worth of stuff for ourselves. oh the selfishness. Dan was feeling really guilty about it once we piled it in the trunk, I was only feeling a tinge of guilt because all I bought was a pair of $5 gloves I needed. The whole way home he was feeling kind of bad. Being the good wife that I am I tried to justify every penny to help him feel better. As we were hauling our Santa sack full of goods up the stairs, our neighbor came out and told us he has been trying to get a hold of us for awhile because his vacuum broke and he wondered if he could borrow ours. My mind instantly went back 3 months earlier when I ignored his door bell ringing...I knew I should have just opened the door. We're awesome neighbors if you couldn't tell. The man had obviously been vacuum less for at least 3 months. Dan graciously offered to let him borrow ours on Sunday (because that's when he does his cleaning). As our door closed behind us Dan and I just stared at each other and all of our crap and I said, "we're buying him a vacuum, right?" Dan nodded and off to Walmart we went! We put the vacuum together and put in on his door step with a bow a few days later so he could wake up to surprise. He caught Dan as he was leaving for work that morning and told him thank you. The bad part is now he wants to be our BFF. I told Dan I didn't want him to feel that way. I wanted to give a vacuum with no strings attached. Dan's reply? "too late, he's coming over for dinner on Wednesday." Dan is too nice, he cant say no, and he doesn't know how to get out of ANYTHING. He is the official YES man, unless I'm the person wanting a yes out of him. He has no trouble saying no to "Hey, how 'bout putting child locks on the cabinet under the sink so little man doesn't eat Ajax for lunch one of these days?" or "That smell you're are gagging on is the garbage. Dumpster anyone?" Anyway, lunch with *G-fry tomorrow at 7pm. Who's joining the awkwardness? We've already conned Zayden into joining us...poor kid doesn't even know what's coming. *his name really isn't G-fry...obviously. It's Godfrey. He's from Nigeria. We called him God for awhile, but for some reason it just didn't feel right, so now his official name (when he's not around) is G-fry.
A few weeks ago I was nice and warm, sleeping so soundly when all of the sudden I feel the bed shaking. I was kind of scared for a second until I realized it was Dan laughing. I'm not talking a little chuckle either. It was uncontrollable laughter. I lay there with my eyes open trying to see if he was watching something on the computer, or reading something, or if his eyes were even open. None of the above were happening so I finally said "HONEY!" more bed shaking. "HONEY!?" The bed stopped shaking and he's trying to act all innocent, "Huh?" Right then I knew he had been asleep the whole time, but I said "Are awake? What are you laughing at you're shaking the bed!" he paused for a second, humiliated "Eh, nothin. I'll tell you later." And back to sleep land he went. Don't worry, I told him all about it the next morning.
For Christmas Dan and I got to buy all the presents for a family he helped host. It was fun, but more work than I thought it would be. We had 4 boys to buy for between the ages of 7 & 14. I've always wanted to this, but I never really knew how to go about doing it. This year Dan made it happen and I'm so glad. Even though I don't know the family, I thought about those boys off and on all Christmas day. I hope they enjoyed it despite their circumstances.
Josh and his family got to come visit us the weekend before Christmas. It was such a fun time. Ady is getting so big. She talks like she's 16 and it cracks us all up. She likes to be in charge and boss people around. I'm scared for when she's really 16. Her mean streak comes out once in awhile, which scares us because it reminds us of her mother. Yikes! She's definitely smart, and loves loves loves animals. I could squeeze her to death. We had lots of fun times, decorating gingerbread houses, snow ball fights, food, dance offs, lights, barbies, presents, and lots of laughing. It was great! We love Josh's new wife Michelle and her son Dylan. She is so laid back and a go with the flow type person. Such a breath of fresh air for all of us.
Next year Dan will be attending tithing settlement without me. He doesn't know this yet because he's still at work. I did it by myself this year whilst wrangling a fussy 18 month old who kept farting. Plus I got called the wrong name the entire time even though I kindly told him my name is Julie Fisher. You know, the Julie Fisher that comes to church every week, been in the ward 2.5 years, taught Sunday school for a year with your wife, hands you tithing EVERY WEEK because we get paid opposite weeks. Yeah, that Julie Fisher. Bless him for his efforts. Bless me not to judge. It gets harder every week. *sigh* Oh how I miss Idaho.
Christmas Eve turned crappy real fast, but only for like an hour. The weekend before while the family was here, Dan had misplaced his keys. If anyone knows Dan you know that this is so out of character for him. He never loses anything...and I lose everything. So he tried to blame me a few times, then he tried to blame the baby a few times. I was convinced it was in the toy box. That week was busy and Dan had just been using the truck key off my key chain, so we really didn't worry much about it. On Christmas eve Dan finally decided we were going to go make a new set of keys later that day when I got home. My mom and I decided to stop at DI to look for an Operation game (remember that game?) because the one she had has a broken nose and doesn't light up. When we got done shopping we put the stuff in the trunk and went to get in the car and it was locked. I had locked my keys in the trunk while looking through a bag that needed to be donated to DI. Nooooooooo! I called Dan to come get us because it was freezing and the store was closing. I was surprised at how many people came to help us. Finally an employee came out and said he had the tools to open car doors because employees lock keys in their car on a weekly basis there. Awesome, I've now been compared to a DI employee. In the meantime 2 people drove up and told us to just stick another key in the door and turn it and try to jiggle it open. Dan did it with his truck key (which is a crappy flimsy copy) and bent his key. Not awesome. 2 key stores later we got someone to make a copy, and luckily it worked! It's a Christmas miracle.
On Christmas day we got a call from my aunt saying that they were going to take my Gram to the hospital. A few days earlier she had slipped on some ice and hit her head pretty hard, so we thought maybe she had bleeding on her brain because she had been dizzy and nauseous. Come to find out it is her heart. She was in A-fib which is a pre cursor to a stroke. She's doing lots better now and we're happy she's ok. I'm so lucky to still have living grandparents, not everyone does! I love that Dan calls them grandma and grandpa, it give me a tickle every time he does. He loves them as much as I do.
On the 27th my sister called me and told me that Zayden had just tripped and cut his head open on a TV speaker. She said it was pretty bad and wondered if we could come help her hold him down at the Doctor's office because her boyfriend was at work in Logan. Luckily Dan was home that day. He did indeed need stitches and he was not happy one bit. Poor little guy. I left the room to go play with Mylie and CJ, while Joni and Dan watched him suffer. Joni cried of course and Dan admitted that was one of the more traumatic things he had seen in his life and had a hard time not crying (do not tell him I told you). He said the worst part was numbing it. The Doctor had to stick the needle in his incision 6 different times to make sure it was all numb. Blood was everywhere. He got 6 or 7 stitches total...I've never been able to count them because he never stops long enough for me to do so =)
On Christmas Eve (before the key incident), my mom went to Lee's grocery store to buy some meat for Christmas dinner. She went and looked at the prime rib, just to see how much it was. At $7 a lb she decided she would forgo the prime and find something else. As she was walking away she saw a huge bow on one of the prime ribs so she picked it up and looked at the price. It was only $2.50 a lb. It looked exactly like the other prime rib packaging, so she went and asked the butcher why it was so cheap. He smiled and said, "Merry Christmas! Every few hours we take the best part of the prime rib and mark it down and put a bow on it until someone finds it." My mom was so excited, she came home and called me right away. I love when the Christmas spirit comes out in people!
I realize I have not given an update on my office visit after my surgery. There's not much to tell, really. I have mild endometriosis, and my Doctor lasered what he could find. Still no baby though. Infertility is rough. Never in a million did I think I would have to say those words. Never. I guess it's the same mentality that a lot of us have about medical problems, "It will never happen to me." But it is happening to me and it's sad, and heartbreaking, and unfair. I was telling my mom some of the things I have to worry about everyday....ya know, peeing on this at this time, watching this, doing that, is it high, is it low, is it peaking, did I take that pill, did I do that today or was that yesterday...it never ends. My mom said "jeeeez, this is like a full time freaking job!" and it is. Except I haven't gotten paid for it yet, that's the crappy part. I realize this could all be so much worse. Life could be worse, and it is worse for a lot of people. So for now, I will count the blessings I do have, and have faith that maybe now is just not the time for us to have children. Easier said than done =)
Life is good.
I have a lot of pictures to post, so I am going to do another post with a slide show.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Re-do
How about that last post, yeah? It's so amazing I'm going to leave it. Love me some blogger...
Is it really Christmas time again? I swear I just took the star off the tree and packed it up in the shed last week! I love Christmas, I do, but it seems like it was just here.
I love the spirit of Christmas, or the spirit of Christ rather, and how it fills the air this time of year. I feel happier and a little more charitable in December, don't you?Ah, I hope so.
The last couple of years have been bores-ville Christmases, so I am determined to make this year a good one! Here's how.....
-See a Christmas play. Check! My friend and I went to Five Carols for Christmas/Jingle Jacks. 5 carols was cute...jingle jacks could use some work. haha.
-Decorate the tree and be satisfied with it. I didn't like our tree last year. It was such a bummer because I had such great plans for it, but it just didn't turn out the way I wanted it. Trimming the tree this year started out pretty rough. I wanted to do my blue and silver tree this year. We found the blue and silver bulbs and put them on the tree. When we went to get the other decorations we could not find them....still can't find them to this day. How do you lose a Christmas box of decorations? I know how....you pack up half your house in hopes of selling it, and a year later it is still up for sale. Son of a....
Anyways, we improvised, and a WEEK later our tree is finished. I'm determined to convince myself I love it...but secretly I hate the blasted thing. I even uttered these words to Dan "just put tinsel on it and forget it." TINSEL! I said TINSEL! Of course my husband knows me well enough to know that the sight of tinsel on my tree makes me vomit profusely, so we went to my moms house and found a few things to spruce up this disaster we call our Christmas tree. It actually turned out way better than planned! Waalaa....it is now complete. Check!
Speaking of waalaa, have you ever tried the WaaLaa comb? AMAZIIIIING. Google it.
-Go to the light parade. Check! Who knew that the city I have called home for the past 6 years has a light parade every year?? Not me! I now know, and I'm glad we went. So fun! Check!
-Build a gingerbread house. One year I built one with my mom and it turned out adorable. This year I built one with Dan and, well, not as adorable but fun none the less! We got sick of it half way through and wanted to stop....but I saw it through, because gosh dangit we were going to check this off our Christmas to-do list! Check!
-Actually buy people Dan works with gifts....I won't even go into last year, but lets just say Awkwaaard. This year we're not going to be the ids (short for idiots). Gifts for the firefighters bought and ready to go! Check!
-Volunteer somewhere. Check! On the 10th Danroid and I are going to the Christmas Box house and sorting through all of the gifts the community has donated to abused/neglected children. I'm hoping for a good, memorable experience.
-Listen to Christmas songs as much as possible. Check! We only get to hear them once a year, so I might as well listen to them until I want to punch the radio.
-Put some thought into the gifts I give this year. Sometimes I feel like we (myself included) go to the store and grab something off the shelf just so we can cross that person off our list. It usually ends up being something lame like bath gel. The sad part about that is the person receiving the gift can usually tell we just grabbed it off the shelf with no thought involved. This year I'm going to use my brain while shopping!
-Read Christmas With the Prophets. Check! We've been reading it since the middle of November. Each chapter talks about a different prophet and what their Christmas traditions were. Pretty neat.
-Go to the Nativity display. Check! We did that tonight and it was actually pretty neat! They had nativities that people brought in from all around the world. I can't believe how many varieties there are.
-Go see some Christmas lights. There are a few cities around here that decorate their parks with lights. We went to the one in Layton one year and it was FREEZING, but fun. It's on our list of things to do when Ady comes to see us!
-Soak it alllll in. Two years ago I remember being in such a hurry all season I was completely flustered every day for 25 days straight. On January 1st I looked back and wondered what the crap just happened. My holiday was gone and I forgot to enjoy it. I wanted a re-do. Where's the rewind button when you need it?
Here's hoping your Christmas season is as great as mine!
Is it really Christmas time again? I swear I just took the star off the tree and packed it up in the shed last week! I love Christmas, I do, but it seems like it was just here.
I love the spirit of Christmas, or the spirit of Christ rather, and how it fills the air this time of year. I feel happier and a little more charitable in December, don't you?Ah, I hope so.
The last couple of years have been bores-ville Christmases, so I am determined to make this year a good one! Here's how.....
-See a Christmas play. Check! My friend and I went to Five Carols for Christmas/Jingle Jacks. 5 carols was cute...jingle jacks could use some work. haha.
-Decorate the tree and be satisfied with it. I didn't like our tree last year. It was such a bummer because I had such great plans for it, but it just didn't turn out the way I wanted it. Trimming the tree this year started out pretty rough. I wanted to do my blue and silver tree this year. We found the blue and silver bulbs and put them on the tree. When we went to get the other decorations we could not find them....still can't find them to this day. How do you lose a Christmas box of decorations? I know how....you pack up half your house in hopes of selling it, and a year later it is still up for sale. Son of a....
Anyways, we improvised, and a WEEK later our tree is finished. I'm determined to convince myself I love it...but secretly I hate the blasted thing. I even uttered these words to Dan "just put tinsel on it and forget it." TINSEL! I said TINSEL! Of course my husband knows me well enough to know that the sight of tinsel on my tree makes me vomit profusely, so we went to my moms house and found a few things to spruce up this disaster we call our Christmas tree. It actually turned out way better than planned! Waalaa....it is now complete. Check!
Speaking of waalaa, have you ever tried the WaaLaa comb? AMAZIIIIING. Google it.
-Go to the light parade. Check! Who knew that the city I have called home for the past 6 years has a light parade every year?? Not me! I now know, and I'm glad we went. So fun! Check!
-Build a gingerbread house. One year I built one with my mom and it turned out adorable. This year I built one with Dan and, well, not as adorable but fun none the less! We got sick of it half way through and wanted to stop....but I saw it through, because gosh dangit we were going to check this off our Christmas to-do list! Check!
-Actually buy people Dan works with gifts....I won't even go into last year, but lets just say Awkwaaard. This year we're not going to be the ids (short for idiots). Gifts for the firefighters bought and ready to go! Check!
-Volunteer somewhere. Check! On the 10th Danroid and I are going to the Christmas Box house and sorting through all of the gifts the community has donated to abused/neglected children. I'm hoping for a good, memorable experience.
-Listen to Christmas songs as much as possible. Check! We only get to hear them once a year, so I might as well listen to them until I want to punch the radio.
-Put some thought into the gifts I give this year. Sometimes I feel like we (myself included) go to the store and grab something off the shelf just so we can cross that person off our list. It usually ends up being something lame like bath gel. The sad part about that is the person receiving the gift can usually tell we just grabbed it off the shelf with no thought involved. This year I'm going to use my brain while shopping!
-Read Christmas With the Prophets. Check! We've been reading it since the middle of November. Each chapter talks about a different prophet and what their Christmas traditions were. Pretty neat.
-Go to the Nativity display. Check! We did that tonight and it was actually pretty neat! They had nativities that people brought in from all around the world. I can't believe how many varieties there are.
-Go see some Christmas lights. There are a few cities around here that decorate their parks with lights. We went to the one in Layton one year and it was FREEZING, but fun. It's on our list of things to do when Ady comes to see us!
-Soak it alllll in. Two years ago I remember being in such a hurry all season I was completely flustered every day for 25 days straight. On January 1st I looked back and wondered what the crap just happened. My holiday was gone and I forgot to enjoy it. I wanted a re-do. Where's the rewind button when you need it?
Here's hoping your Christmas season is as great as mine!
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