Monday, April 9, 2012

Why I love/hate the pediatrician and hate/hate my neighbor

So I never thought I would be the crazy/stressed first time mom. (I laughed as I typed that). I guess I thought I'd all of the sudden turn into this cool, calm, not stressed mother of the year.

Knock knock. Who's there? Crazy first time mom, that's who.
Mason's pediatrician confirmed this to me when she called me neurotic AND crazy all in one visit.

Me: He goes through these periods every few weeks where he doesn't eat for like 8 or 9 hours every day for like 4 days straight. The last time he did this he lost 4 ounces over a week.

Her: How do you know he lost 4 ounces.

Me: Uh, I weigh him.

Her: You weigh him?? Ok, that's a little neurotic don't you think?

Me: Um.

Her: (looking at Dan) She's crazy isn't she?! (looking at me) You're crazy!

Me: laughing, trying to pretend like my son not eating is a hilarious joke.

Dan: Yes!

And that was the end of it.

I accept those words. I embrace my crazy side. But I'm still wondering why my child doesn't like to eat?? I guess we'll never know. Calm mom's don't need to know. And I'm a calm mom....these knots in my back and shoulders prove that I am. Right?  (seriously, if Dan says "Goose-fra-braaaa" Name that movie to me ONE more time I might show him what crazy really is!)

In the end, I realized that maybe I need to calm down and I'm glad that his pediatrician is real with us. Sometimes crazies just need to be called crazy by the right person before they realize they're 42 seconds away from being admitted to looney bin.

P.S. the lactation consultant also gently hinted at the fact that I'm cookoo as well when I told her I had to taste the breast milk because it smelled rotten. I'm getting used to the label now. Just so you know, we have been force feeding our child rotten breast milk from the freezer, so my taste test was not for not. I cry just thinking about this, so maybe in a later post it will be explained. I'm working on being calm, this subject does not make me calm. In fact, my eye just twitched.

Lets move on to why my neighbor is even crazier than I am.

She called me a grandma the other day.

I honestly wish I could have taken a picture of my face at this point. WTF is what my face had written all over it.  I was walking down the stairs as she was walking into her house

Her: "aww you have your grandson with you today?"

Me: Just thinking maybe she slipped and said grandson instead of son  "um.uh. yep"

Her: "aren't grand kids the best?"

I don't know moron, ask me in 40 years!

Don't ever question why I try to stay locked in my house for as many hours as possible every day

My Grandson