What Happened in Vegas?

I left for Vegas with money in my pocket and came home with a negative balance in my pocket. Dang those penny slots. Luckily I came home with a fantastic new sister in law to make up for it. I'd take her over winning money any day. (Shhhh, don't tell the slot machine that.) There is one exception to that....if I won 266 million dollars I would have to betray her. But only for like 5 minutes until I could buy her back with my new found wealth.

We called Ceasers Palace, Little Ceasers no less than 64 times each. The coolest part is that we didn't even correct ourselves most of the time.

Highlight of the trip was when my brother fainted at breakfast. My mom and I were walking away from the cashier to be seated and we turned around to see why Josh wasn't following us. He was standing there swaying and sweating. Then he collapsed. My mom and I tried holding him up, but he fell to a squat. Then the Chinese lady that worked there said "I call security, I call security." We assured her that he was fine....mortified, but fine. We walked a few steps and he kept saying "I'm fine", but I knew he was not fine. I could tell by the sweat dripping off his face that he was not fine. I sat him down at a table and I'm pretty sure he passed out again. Pretty much everyone in the restaurant was staring at this point. We finally got to our seat and got him some water and he felt better. I diagnosed him with dehydration and food poisoning from a hot dog he ate the night before. (Who the freak eats a hot dog in Las Vegas?!). Josh was so embarrassed. He said "Everyone in here is thinking I'm wasted at 10am"...but I bet he's not embarrassed that I'm writing this for all three of you to read.The funny part is that the night before while we were at the Mirage, Michelle had the exact same thing happen to her...except she let go of her pride and sat down before she fainted. Both of them got really bad stomach aches, then started getting really hot, then felt like they were going to faint. Luckily they both survived, and no one fainted at the alter. Whew!

We got to meet Michelle's sister and her cousin. One is a cop, one is a chiropractor. I usually don't like to be in the presence of cops, but she's actually pretty cool. I got to ask her questions like, "how fast can I go without getting a ticket?" "If you pulled me over for my tags being expired by 6 days would you give me a ticket?" (BTW, the answers were 10, and no.....I will find the shemale cop that gave me the 6 day over ticket and smack her, then pull her braided pony tail). At one point all seven of us smashed into my mom's Altima and drove around LV trying to find this casino my brother recommended....(when I say 'we all smashed into the car' I mean 'they all smashed into the car.' I was sitting in the front seat quite comfy, while they were in the back sweating and swearing). Most people would call 7 people in a 5 person car "illegal", I call it "we have a firefighter AND a cop in this car...there is NO WAY we're getting a ticket no matter what we do!"

We watched karaoke at Buffalo Bills. Played roulette for the first time, lost at roulette for the first time. Consumed second hand smoke by the gallons full. Couldn't breath by the end of the trip...or for five days afterwards. Ate at the planet hollywood buffet (delish). Swam in the shark tank at the Golden Nugget. Got lost. Shopped at the outlets. Went to M&M world. Saw the lions at the MGM. Watched the fountains at the Bellagio. Got yelled at by an angry black woman...yeah I was scared. Walked and walked and walked.

Boo for losing!


Some guy offered to take our picture....weird how his blurry drunkenness showed through the camera.

Now we're laughing at him because he has no idea how to take a picture.

Dan took the picture.....with sober eyes.

Dan's face=awesome

Silvester Stallone was 12 inches away from us! He was walking really fast.

Picking Dan's nose with lobster

The screening of The Expendables movie was being shown at Planet Hollywood. Dan waited around for an hour and half to get a peek of the stars! Sylvster Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Ludgren, Mickey Rourke & Arnold Schwarzenegger

Gaylord Restaraunt

Superman walking around all cool like..

Something about M&M world makes you do gay things.

M&M's anyone? Only $14.99 per pound!

I totally didn't plan the shirt....no, seriously, I didn't.



Mom's BF

The Flamingo buffet had cotton candy. Pretty awesome if you ask me.

Sharks at the Golden Nugget











Buggy with a side cart..not for me.

I bet you're wondering why there are no wedding pictures on here? 2 reasons

Numero 1-We were running late and forgot the camera in the hotel room, OK?

2- They don't allow camera's anywhere near the chapel. I'm pretty sure they will taze you if you try bringing one in.

I will scan one in when my mom's gets hers in the mail.

Had a great time..but I don't think I'll be visiting Vegas for many years. Twice in two years is plenty for this old soul