Thursday, October 7, 2010

A real once a weeker

This is going to be a real Once A Weeker. The last one was more like a Once a Summer-er....or something like that.

I decorated my house for Halloween this year. Who's proud of me? You should be. Halloween is my least fave, but it's Dan's fave. In an effort to keep my husband happy I give into the Halloween spirit....every other year. I thought my nephew would be scared of all of our decorations, but it looks like I stand alone in the scared department again this year. I do not like the feeling of fear. If there was one feeling I could take away it would be fear. Like the good husband that he is, Dan preys upon my fear of fear. Just the other day while at our friends house he jumped out of a closet and almost made me pee my pants. One of these days he is going to get punched right in the face. It's a natural reflex of mine to start punching when scared....don't say I didn't warn you.
If you haven't already guessed, haunted houses are out of the question in my life. Dan begs every year, and every year I have to tell him the same horrific story from my past......It was 1996 (ok, I don't really know the exact year), my mom has this grand idea, "Lets go to a haunted house!" This wasn't a baby haunted house that the old creepy neighbor next door set up in his garage. This was an old abandoned house on a scary street that you don't even walk down in daylight. The line was long. I remember exactly what I was awesome tie dye-ish dress/skirt thing, with white shoes embellished with a bow on the top (it was 1996, give me a friggin break). When it was our turn I was trying to act all calm and cool, but really I was crying and screaming inside wishing I were dead. We had my brother and sister and some of their friends with us, so I had to be the cool little sister, right? This fasad only worked for .42 seconds. Someone started chasing after me with a chain saw and as I ran I lost one of my awesome shoes. Somehow I ended up losing my family and trying to go back for my shoe but there were so many people I couldn't make my way back, plus this freak was about to chainsaw my face off. Somehow I ended up "behind the scenes" of this freak show, standing next to a guy in a scary mask behind black sheets. He was trying to help me, but he was scaring the pee right out of me. I was crying...scratch that....WHALING for my mom & my shoe. Finally my mom realizes that her last born child might be dead and she comes back to find me. She's laughing hysterically at my hysterical-ness and tries telling me to come with her. The music and the chain saws in our faces are so loud that she can't hear me telling her that my shoe is lost. So she's pulling me toward her and I am pulling back (does this sound like a nightmare to anyone else?!). Finally Freddy Krueger brings me my shoe, and we escaped with our lives flashing before our eyes. I cried the whole way home, I'm sure of it.
If that story doesn't get Dan off my back, then I just lay it out for him..... "I'm sorry honey, haunted houses were not listed in our vows." He hasn't caught on to the fact that we never said vows...shhhhh.

Speaking of 1996, remember penny loafers? All the cool kids had them. I actually saw an older man wearing penny loafers with the pennies in them. I almost burst out laughing. Who does that? I had to look at his shirt to make sure it wasn't a Hypercolor T-shirts.
Remember hypercolor T-shirts? Can we say awesome? I haven't seen anyone wearing one of those as of late, but if you stick around long enough you might find me wearing one. Those were/are the coolest shirts ever made.

My Bff from work is starting a bunco group and I will be gracing her with my presence. I'll keep you posted on all the cool stuff I win. It should be fun!

On Monday Dan called me from work and said, "I cannot leave work." Usually he says this when they are in the middle of ping pong or basketball game. Apparently they were having an open house for the community to come check out the fire department. They had mock rooms set up in the parking lot, and charged hose laying out so Dan couldn't back out. Poor dude had to stay at work 3 extra hours. I don't think it bothered him too much, they ate pizza and lit things on fire the whole time. Freakin pyromaniacs I tell you.

We found out yesterday that Adyson is going to be a mermaid for Halloween. My mom asked her if she had her costume and she said "yes I DO" all matter of fact-like. My mom asked her if she was going to wear a wig and Ady said her mom told her she was going to have pink hair. My mom asked how she was going to get it pink and she said, "well, I guess we'll just have to paint it." Her voice is so cute, I wish I could record everything she says.

I came home the other day to a SPOTless house and roses from the Mister. He even vacuumed! Could I have a better husband?! Nah. Speaking of good husbands, I just found out the other day that he is 29, not 28! HOW did I miss a year? ugh. Worst wife award goes to J-Fish. I have plans up my sleeve for the big just wait. Bad wife award will be off my record soon enough!

Today was a weird day. Bittersweet if you will. I went to my doctor begging him to give me a baby....ok maybe I wasn't that blunt. Could infertility be any more expensive? I kid you not I was in his office 15 minutes and I had to give him 100 of my (husbands) hard earned dollars. And that's the cheapest part of it! All he said was "endometriosis my friend, endotmetriosis." Those weren't his exact words, I just kind of summed up those 15 minutes for you. Laparoscopy will be in my near future. Boooo for infertility. The sweet part of my day was the fact that I have somewhat of an answer to my "why no baby?" question. I just hoped it involved Clomid instead of surgery. Beggars can't be choosers I suppose.
I know some of you have told me you feel out of the loop and/or are scared to ask about my bum ovaries. I'll keep you posted on here as much as I can so you don't have to ask if you don't want to. If you don't like the word 'ovaries' you might want to find another blog...cuz it's mah blog, and I write what I want. (secretly, I don't like the word either).

To end on a happy note, I hope my kid likes fruits and veggies as much as my nephew. To date, he has thrown 3 fits in stores with me because he wants to eat fruit before we buy it.
1st time-fruit stand. He saw blackberries and almost fell out of the cart crying for them.
2nd time-fruit stand. Picked up tomatoes that weren't ours, nor were they paid for, and started eating them like apples. He ate 3 of them. No lie.
3rd time-Walmart. In the check out line. Bananas coming down the conveyor belt and he spots them. Of course the bananas have to be weighed, so I can't just give him one. The bad news was there was still a lady in front of me waiting to check out. He threw some serious fit action right there. Stood up in the cart and freaked out, pointing at the bananas. Children are humiliating, aren't they?

Don't you hate wedgies?

No comments: