Can I just start by saying that I cannot stand the Fresh Start Dental commercial?! Has anyone seen this? You know, the old lady finally gets her teeth fixed and she *fake* cries as she bites into an apple? Hellz bellz. Could this be any cheesier. I mean, I'm sure the lady is excited to be able to bite into an apple after 30 years of not being able to do so....but to add the *fake* crying is just more than I can handle at this point in my life. One of these days I want to take a picture of my face while I'm watching that commercial. It will have baffled written all over it.
*sigh* on to more important things. Can you tell I've been watching a lot of TV the last few days?
Today has been a better day than I planned for. I woke up not feeling so good. Sore, weak, tired...ya know, the usual post surgery complaints. I was bound and determined to get out of the house though. I felt cooped up, and I've watched the apple scenario mentioned above one too many times the last three days. I ventured out and actually took a shower today. Who's proud of me? My goal for today was to get my car Emission and inspection done. I have a broken windshield...one big ol long crack. I knew it wouldn't pass, but I went to get it checked out anyway. The front desk girl was super awkward/weird. After I had been there for 10 min she looked at me and said "do you want a tootsie roll?" uhhh. Of course the fella checking out my car came in and said my windshield needed to be replaced, so he would have to fail me for now. I went to the awkward front desk girl to pay and she gave me a $7 discount for being an Intermountain employee. Then when I got my paperwork back it said I had passed! He "forgot" to mark it as FAIL. Woohoo! Guess who gets to drive around with a broken windshield for the next 2 years??? I am fully aware that cracked windshields are white trash. I get that. But if being white trash saves me $250, I am all for it. I might have to give up my pride, but who needs that anyway? THEN I was feeling so good about all of my savings that I headed to Rite Aid to buy Mascara. When I got there it was on sale for 40% off plus I found a $2 off coupon in my purse. When was the last time you spent $2.49 on your mascara, huh? I bet you wish you were me right now.
Lets get to the surgery everyone keeps asking me about. Dr Beer (ok, it's really Bierer but it's pronounced Beer-er...I even clarified the pronunciation with his nurse the first time I saw him) did find endometriosis. He lasered it out, he flushed my tubes with saline, and the next thing I knew I was in the recovery room next to a crazy lady wanting morphine every 2.5 seconds. As far as I'm concerned I was the most normal patient in the recovery room at that time. The lady to the left of me was being dramatic and her nurse kept telling her...very sternly.... to relax and go back to sleep. The lady on the right was the morphine-queen and her nurse had to keep telling her she couldn't have more meds. The girl in the middle just cried and calmly asked for her husband and a drink of water. This may or may not have been me. Ok, it was me. Dangit!
Ten minutes after I woke up they wheeled me into my room, and my nurse told the other nurse to go get my husband stat....ok, he didn't say stat. That was just for dramatic affect. Dan came into the room and I was all better. We got to go home a half hour later. Isn't it weird how the side effects and pains from surgery usually have nothing to do with the area that was operated on? The worst pain I have had has been in my shoulder and my right side from the gas that was pumped into me. For some reason it plants itself in those two places and it feels like someone is constantly stabbing me. Oh, and lets not forget about trying to pee. "Feel the burn" took on a whole new meaning! Yikes. Speaking of urine, the CNA got mad at me for not being able to give her a sample when I first got there for a pregnancy test. I finally told her I hadn't drank anything for 12 hours (as directed by your nursing staff) so she'd have to draw blood. She rolled her eyes at me and sighed. Seriously??!! After that I never had to see her again. A nice nurse came in and started my IV and drew my blood. Then she hooked me up to Bair Paws which is a warming device that blows warm air into plastic chambers inside your gown, and it makes you look like a gigantic fatlard. Fun huh? Don't worry, we took pictures. I have 2 incisions, one in my belly button and one 3 inches down from my belly button. They're pretty cool to look at in the mirror. Just sayin.
Dan took care of me Tuesday and Wednesday (in between playing Black Ops along with 3 MILLION other people), and today I am going at it alone because Dan had to work. I wish he could have stayed home. It's much more fun to have someone else make you french toast. My great friend Krista brought over a shake, a kit kat, pumpkin soup, a card, and a Dr Pepper yesterday. Isn't she fab? Just what the doctor ordered! =)
I have no urine to give