New Years eve 2011....the day I realized how out of touch I am with my feminine side/reality/society in general.
No really.
The game: Cranium.
8 of us playing. Guys against girls. I only know one other couple in the room.
Question for the girls: Write down the first 3 words that come to mind when you hear the word 'underwear'. To win, 2 of our answers have to match up with someone from our team.
So, all 4 of us write down our answers.
Their answers (that actually match up with each other!):
Panties
Victorias Secret
Lingerie
My answers (that actually matched up with NO ONE):
Poop stains and Hanes.
I couldn't even come up with a 3rd
Imagine how awesome it was for me to read those out loud after hearing their answers! I managed to get through it with tears of laughter. Although, a piece of me still died in that moment.
Next stop: Victorias Secret for some "panties"
I hope your new year started off as humiliating as mine!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
This is how you know you're pregnant
You know you're pregnant when...
You can't breath.
You get excited over a breast pump.
Your first thought after buying a pump is to try it out on your husband. What?
You clean the kitchen and you're flat out exhausted afterward.
You try to convince yourself that breast feeding will be awesome...
Every website you visit has something to do with babies
Heartburn. Need I say more?
You think the 3D pictures of your baby isn't creepy. In fact, it's adorable!
You can make it to the toilet in pitch darkness....4 times a night.
It's a great day when you don't dry heave while brushing your teeth!
You've researched every product on your baby registry extensively.
Bedtime is at 8pm
You have 3 shirts that actually fit and it sucks when they're all dirty.
Coughing and peeing are no longer two seperate tasks. Aye!
You feel like your hips are about to break in half when you stand up.
You walk into a room and people move so you can sit down. Yessss
Your husband doesn't look at you weird when you eat a gallon of milk and a box of cereal every three days. Or does he look at you weird and you just don't care?
You find out that they sell maternity garments in your 8th month and you're totally stoked to wear them! (And you're husband looks at them and says "what.are.those?"
You have to text your aunt and ask her how the crap you nurse with garments. Pull them up? Pull them down? Cut a hole in the boob? Oh, nursing garments you say? ah!
You take your nephew to the Dr's appointment with you and he screams "I see Juju's butt!" over and over and over....and you want to die, but you don't. You laugh and pretend like he's not saying it.
You go to the baby's room just to look how cute his crib is.
And last but not least, you pray for 10 fingers and 10 toes and dark hair. Haha!
You can't breath.
You get excited over a breast pump.
Your first thought after buying a pump is to try it out on your husband. What?
You clean the kitchen and you're flat out exhausted afterward.
You try to convince yourself that breast feeding will be awesome...
Every website you visit has something to do with babies
Heartburn. Need I say more?
You think the 3D pictures of your baby isn't creepy. In fact, it's adorable!
You can make it to the toilet in pitch darkness....4 times a night.
It's a great day when you don't dry heave while brushing your teeth!
You've researched every product on your baby registry extensively.
Bedtime is at 8pm
You have 3 shirts that actually fit and it sucks when they're all dirty.
Coughing and peeing are no longer two seperate tasks. Aye!
You feel like your hips are about to break in half when you stand up.
You walk into a room and people move so you can sit down. Yessss
Your husband doesn't look at you weird when you eat a gallon of milk and a box of cereal every three days. Or does he look at you weird and you just don't care?
You find out that they sell maternity garments in your 8th month and you're totally stoked to wear them! (And you're husband looks at them and says "what.are.those?"
You have to text your aunt and ask her how the crap you nurse with garments. Pull them up? Pull them down? Cut a hole in the boob? Oh, nursing garments you say? ah!
You take your nephew to the Dr's appointment with you and he screams "I see Juju's butt!" over and over and over....and you want to die, but you don't. You laugh and pretend like he's not saying it.
You go to the baby's room just to look how cute his crib is.
And last but not least, you pray for 10 fingers and 10 toes and dark hair. Haha!
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