Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Facebook

I think facebook needs to establish some ground rules....and make every person take an oath to oblige. This site is getting out of control. Every time I get on facebook I threaten to cancel my account. I don't know 'who' I threaten....I just say out loud "why the #$!! do I keep getting on this thing!?!". Then I show The Hubs things that people say, or pictures that people post and he says "Why the #$!! do you keep getting on this thing?!" Then we get into an argument about facebook and I find myself defending it, and sticking up for it, while trying to convince him to sign up for it. Yeah, that's all we need....TWO facebook accounts in our household. Sometimes I wonder if people actually have REAL face-to-face conversations with their husbands and children anymore. My sources say no. This can't be good. So, in an effort to save facebooker marriages and family relationships...and to learn how to be a less annoying facebooker... I have established some rules for you......oh yes, these ARE official.



1.) This is not TWITTER. If you want to update your status every 2.4 seconds, start tweeting! To be quite frank, no one really cares about EVERY aspect of your life...I know, surprising huh? We don't need play by plays. One or two status updates every one or two days is sufficient. (Just an FYI for you offenders-there is a little button called "hide" next to your name...I'm pretty sure many of your friends use this option).



2.) This is not FLICKR. We don't need 400 pictures of you...and we REALLY don't need 156 pictures of you taking a picture of yourself. 400 pictures does not equal a cool, popular person with lots of friends. 400 pictures equals you taking too many pictures to try and convince facebook "friends" that you actually have a life.



3.) This is not the psychiatrists office. Keep your personal problems, well, personal. If you need counseling, facebook is not the place to find it. Try the yellow pages.....LDS family services.....Google......anywhere but facebook. Please. I get so uncomfortable/embarrassed for people that air their dirty laundry on their status updates. There is a time and there is a place for situations like this....facebook is not the time or the place.



4.) The results to facebook quizzes aren't real. Don't take these as personal revelation. They're just for fun.... (Yes, I have seen MANY people talk about these like they are real.)



5.) While we're on the subject of quizzes, lets try to keep them to a minimum, eh? For the love, I do not need 35 quiz results bombarding my news feed....don't you know I have 15 status updates to read about Suzie's divorce plans?



6.) Don't whine and expect people to comment on your wall if you never comment on their wall. Enough said.



7.) Facebook is not a place to get attention. It's just not.


8.) This is not your bedroom. I don't care about what you and your husband did last night.....seriously, I don't, not even a little bit.


9.) Facebook is not AKA: A Love Letter to Your Spouse. A cute little "happy anniversary, I love you" here and there is appropriate....but a "I have lain awake many sleepless nights trying to compose words that might adequately describe the feelings of my heart that I have for you..." is not appropriate. Again, that time and place issue goes into effect here.

10.) No pictures is also an issue. Lets get real with each other once and for all, the only reason we all got facebook accounts is so we could see how fat our high school buddies got. 400 pictures is too many, zero pictures is not enough. If you're going to judge all the fatty's from high school, make sure there is ample opportunity for them to do the same.

Ten rules seems to be adequate....for now. I wouldn't want to overwhelm any one. I've come to the conclusion that if you are offended by this post, you're probably the one breaking all of these official facebook rules. So save the hate mail and go update your status instead....you know you want to.

6 comments:

Jamie said...

boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. You hit the nail on the head. The only thing you were missing was the girls that post sexy, pouty mouthed pictures of themselves. What is it w/ everyone and that ugly, pouty mouth expression, anyway. Please, don't forget to add me to your private list, I'd hate to miss your rants!!

Jamie said...

P.S.
oh yea, and I forgot my number one pet FB peeve: GAMES! I hate Mafia wars, bejeweled and yoville, farm requests and farkle Come on, get a (real) life. If you choose not too, don't ask me to participate in your fake one! Please feel free to add this to your list of grievences! I love your honesty, Julie!!

Julie Fisher said...

Jamie-
OH the pouty mouth pictures! How could I forget those? I think I'm just used to them now. It's become the 'norm'. Sad, isn't it?
And the games, for the love...don't get me started.
I'm glad you enjoy my rants (and even better, you actually AGREE with some of them!)Someone needed to make some rules for facebook....and it might as well be the bitter, cynical, jaded, sarcastic, JFF!

Krista said...

So, does the fact that I am a regular poster of all your rules pose a problem? I mean, I'm really sorry for doing all those things. It's just that, well....I've had a really hard week and so many things have gone wrong and I only posted that many pictures so people might think, "Wow, she's popular!" Is that so wrong?

And also, I just had to express my undying love to Ryan and post pictures of us making out so everyone knows how good our chemistry is.

As for those quizzes, I LOVE them. I took the the test that says what I will name my children and it was dead on! Veronica and Horea are perfect! I take new quizzes every day because the results are so accurate. I took one today and found out which care bear I'm like, and apparently I'm the Emo bear!

Anyway, sorry if my facebook activities bother you BFF. I know you won't mind though, cause it's me.


P.S. Will you please make more comments on my photos and on my wall? You haven't been doing it very much and it hurts my feelings.

Angie said...

Does every comment I leave on your blog say something about how funny you are? Seriously you make me laugh out loud. Please feel free to tell me if I am an offender of any of these rules. I don't think I am... but who knows!!! Although I do agree with everthing you said!

Nate & Millie said...

LOVE IT!!! Please post these on Facebook's home page so everyone can abide by your rules! I couldn't agree more...seriously, right now on Facebook I have 60+ stupid requests...farms, farkle (is that even a word?), mafia, quizzes, kidnap, you name it. Obviously these people don't get the hint that every week or so I just ignore them all. Julie, you're always great for a laugh...keep the rants coming!!